<USS Avalon> Love and Confusion, part four

 =/\= Love And Confusion, part four =/\=
El-Kainah Ngaio and Miriam Francher



El wished Siobhan a pleasant day and wished her a good sleep and so on as 
they left sickbay together. Part of him wished they could have just one more 
romp 
together but he knew that if he was going to make a go of having a relatio
nship with Miri, he couldn't do that. 

He pushed those thoughts away as he rode the turbolift to his quarters. It 
was a quiet ride as he rode with a few other night shift workers also heading 
home for some sleep. But when he got off he heard a few whispers from some of 
the women that had been there. Had they heard the music too, or was it 
something 
else? He pushed those thoughts away as well as he finally arrived at his 
quarters.

Miriam hadn't been able to study after El left her quarters. She'd tried for 
a few minutes, then gone for a walk in frustration. She could almost still 
feel him with her, his confusion and desire, and a frustration that nearly 
matched her own. Pausing outside his quarters, knowing he wasn't there yet, 
she'd 
put her hand up to the doorplate and extended her senses, not very surprised 
when the door opened for her. She was a Communicator, after all.

His quarters were very plain, unadorned, almost nothing personal to show who 
lived there. Miri went in and sat on the couch. She would wait for him. Within 
a short time, though, she had dozed off.

He stopped short when he saw the boot-clad feet of a person sleeping on his 
couch. Who could it be? he wondered. He smiled warmly when he came around the 
corner of the couch and discovered who it was. He leaned down and brushed her 
hair from her face gently. He gently worked his way into her mind as she slept. 
~~I'm glad you're here, Miri.~~ he insinuated into her mind, trying not to 
wake her.

The touch of his mind woke her, and her thoughts -- sleepy and disorganized 
-- blended into his, wordlessly expressing her love and her want for him. ~~I'm 
sorry,~~ she apologized. ~~I didn't mean to break in and fall asleep...~~ But 
she wasn't really very sorry. She wanted to be with him, now that she had 
admitted it to him as well as to herself.

He smiled at her. "Its OK," he told her. "I told you that I was glad you were 
here." He was grinning from ear to ear, one of those silly 
cat-that-swallowed-the-canary smiles. "I didn't mean to wake you, though."

"I'm glad you did," she told him, stretching full length like a cat and then 
sitting up gracefully. "I'd be all cramped up if you let me sleep like that 
much longer ... and in my boots, too..."

He chuckled. "It must have been important for you to break in here. So what 
is it?" He smiled as she stretched.

The music that had been following him grew louder, dancing around both of 
them. Miriam blushed. "That," she murmured. "I can't figure out how to 
untangle..."

"You want it back, huh?" he asked, such that it was obvious that he was 
teasing her. 

"Mm-hmm." Miriam nodded, getting up from the couch. Then she sat back down 
and pulled off her boots. "Ugh ... they hurt after being on so long."

He smiled as he took one of her feet in his hand and started to massage it 
gently working out the tension of the day. "What if I don't want to give it 
back?" he asked.

She knew he was joking. She knew he had a reputation. And she knew she didn't 
want to leave him. His hands, long-fingered and warm, felt good on her aching 
foot. "Then I'll have to stay with you to be near it," she answered solemnly.

He peaked a brow momentarily in surprise. "What are you saying, Miri? Are you 
saying that you've changed your mind? Or are you assuming that I have changed 
mine?" The fact was that he had, but he was concerned about the possible 
presumptiveness she had just shown him. He wanted to make sure.

With her own feelings pulled in so tightly that she couldn't sense his, she 
replied seriously, "I don't know, El. I only know that I've fought this long 
enough, and you coming to see me made me realize that I don't want to fight it 
any more. I just want to be with you, and I'll take my chances."

He chuckled a little finding her answer to be somewhat ironic, given what he 
and Siobhan had discussed. "Well, that is interesting," he remarked. "I think 
I am ready," he said. "I don't know if I am or not, but I want to try.  I do 
know that what I have with Siobhan isn't enough any more." He smiled almost 
sadly. "Does that make any sense at all?"

Nodding again, she took his hand. Hers were cold, but their thoughts twined 
warmly together. ~~It makes perfect sense,~~ she said. ~~This... I think this 
is what my People call two-ing.~~ She didn't add that she suspected they had 
been doing it since they first met.

He smiled warmly. "Two-ing, " he repeated. "I kind of like the sound of 
that." He smiled at her again.

She was so tired, she could barely get up off the couch. Her exhaustion 
didn't need words to communicate to him.

"You're tired, Miri. You should sleep. We can talk later." He took her hand 
and helped her to her feet. "You can sleep in there." He indicated the bedroom. 
"I'll stay out here. I'm used to sleeping in strange places." He smiled.

Miriam shook her head. "I won't put you out of your bed," she told him 
softly. "I trust you not to take advantage of me when I'm too tired to 
respond." Her 
feet weren't touching the floor as she held his hand, moving slowly toward 
the bedroom.

He stopped a moment. "I'm glad you trust me, Miri, but I think it's best if I 
stay out here. I don't mind. I tend to sleep on my couch more than in my bed, 
anyway." He smiled to try to reassure her that it would be best if he did.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes dark and wide. The music trilled sadly.

"Yes," he said. "I am sure." He didn't want to be apart from her, but he knew 
that if they were in bed together he would be tempted to be intimate with 
her. No matter how tired he was at the moment.

Miri sighed. "I suppose being in the next room is sort of being with you," 
she conceded reluctantly. Her emotions were in the process of tying themselves 
very tightly into his, and she was too tired to control that process. Her bare 
toes dragged on the floor a bit, and she tucked them up away from the 
carpeting.

He kept walking with her into the bedroom. "Miri, it's me, OK?  I would like 
nothing more than to sleep next to you right now. And I appreciate that you 
trust me." He stopped walking. "I don't trust myself. I'm exhausted after 
working all night, but you're here, and so beautiful, and..." He trailed off as 
he 
was looking at her.

Her arms went around his neck, and she finally let herself kiss him with all 
the pent-up desire of weeks. It didn't matter that she was too tired to follow 
through on the promise of that kiss, or that her longing communicated itself 
whether she wanted it to or not. Her mouth opened to his, the kiss a microcosm 
of lovemaking.

It startled him at first but he quickly recovered and joined the kiss with 
enthusiasm. It felt so good and warm. He could feel her desire and longing. It 
seemed to feed his own and he knew that if she were to be next to him he 
definitely would not be able to control his desires.

Gradually, the kiss ended. Miriam was breathless, but she knew she couldn't 
stay awake much longer. She'd worked a Beta shift and then studied through most 
of Gamma. "Sorry," she murmured. "If I wasn't so tired..." 
 
El shook his head.   "It's all right, Miri.  You get some rest.  We'll have 
time later if we want to."  He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and sent her 
into the bedroom.  "Good night, Miri."  And with that they parted for the 
night.  Each to a separate bed to sleep.  He didn't know how Miri would sleep 
but 
he knew that his own sleep was going to be restless as a result of the kiss 
and the promise it made.

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