<USS Avalon> "Just Friends"

Just Friends
Lieutenant Commander Elissabeth Marksbury
and Junior Lieutenant Sussanna Jameson


Sighing softly as consciousness returned, Elissabeth turned and opened her eyes 
to see Anna still lying next to her. Oh, god, what have I done? She felt sick, 
panic setting in. What am I supposed to do now? 

The movement woke her and Anna glanced up at Lissi. Smiling at the petrified 
look on her face, Anna ran a finger down Lissi's cheek. "Morning." 

Taking a deep breath, "Good," she coughed a bit, trying to find her voice, 
"morning." 

"Feeling a little better today?" Anna tried to hide her concern, but it crept 
into her voice. 

"Um..." Oh god, oh god. "Anna... I..." She sighed. "I'm so sorry." 

Her heart sank into her stomach but she kept the smile on her face. Shaking her 
head a little, Anna continued to stroke Lissi's cheek. "What for?"

"For this," she said softly, removing Anna's finger from her cheek. "I 
shouldn't have... I am so sorry. I can't believe... Forgive me, please." 

"Forgive you for what? For sleeping with me? For letting me comfort you?" Her 
voice remained soft as her heart shattered into a billion pieces. "You gave me 
something very special, Liss. I always knew it would be just for one night. 
Don't apologise, don't make this something that you regret. Please." Don't take 
this simple pleasure away from me. 

Staring up at the ceiling in the mostly darkness, Lissi felt the tear escaping 
the corner of her eye. She felt horrible for using Anna like she had. That's 
pretty much what it amounted to anyway. Never saw it coming. She had always 
thought that if she ever got close enough to another woman, it would be Skyler. 
And even then it wasn't a matter of being attracted to either one of them, 
because she wasn't. It was James she still had feelings for, still wanted. Last 
night was just so incredibly wrong. "You knew?" she asked quietly. 

"Of course I knew," Anna said simply. "How could I not? You are an amazing 
woman, Elissabeth, but you are not mine to keep."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." It sounded pitiful even to her. 

Anna's laugh was light and gentle. "You haven't hurt me. You given me the 
greatest of gifts." She rolled onto her side to look at Lissi in the dusk. 
"Please don't regret this. That would be the worst hurt you could deal me. It 
was just something that you needed and I'm glad that you allowed me be there 
for you."

"Anna..." Elissabeth reached over and placed a gentle hand on the other woman's 
cheek. "Thank you so much." 

Kissing Lissi's forehead, Anna slipped out of bed and began gathering up her 
clothes. "You know that I love you. I always will, I just don't want to lose 
you as my friend because of it." A small beeping from the pocket of her 
trousers made Anna rummage around. Retrieving her PADD, Anna noted a message 
asking for her to report to Medical. "I've got to go, I'm sorry." Leaning back 
to kiss Elissabeth for the last time, Anna pulled on her clothes.

She didn't know what to say. Not at all. Sitting up and gathering the blanket 
to herself, Lissi tried not to watch Anna dressing. "We'll always be friends," 
she said, knowing how hollow it sounded. 

"I'm glad for that," she said as she slipped away. "I just wish it could have 
been more," she whispered to herself as she left.

The door closed and Elissabeth lowered her head, too ashamed to even shed 
tears. Irrational actions, surprising even herself. What a mess.


                
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