<USS Avalon> I Wish You Peace
- From: CmdrSkyler@xxxxxxx
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2008 21:28:29 EST
"I Wish You Peace"
Captain Skyler, Lt. Commander Moreya and Ensign Sera Teryn
Skyler held onto Moreya as long as she could before she stood to face her.
"I think my friend it is time that we...or rather I dealt with Tery. If your
offer to be there still stands I would gratefully take you up on it. I don't
know that I can do this on my own." It was the truth. She loved Moreya and was
in love with her, yet understood the circumstances in which that love was to
be. She would take whatever Moreya could give her, whenever she could or
would.
They shared a bond that couldn't be broken, yet to keep it she would have to
let it go. She understood it yet at the same time she didn't. The one thing
she knew for sure was that there was nothing she wouldn't do for Moreya. She
had given this woman her heart, soul, body and most importantly her love.
Something she did not give easily.
"Of course I will be there. Where should we all meet?"
"Thank you my friend. I still don't know what I am going to do or say but
having you there will help. How about my quarter's? I will call Tery and let
her
know." Skyler was more nervous than she realized at the thought of having
the two women in her life in one room. "If you want we can leave from here and
have her join us."
"That's fine," Moreya said. "I need to get some searches started, so I will
stop off at my bridge station, then follow you in a few minutes."
"I will call her now and have her meet us there. Again thank you Moreya."
Skyler moved over to her desk and opened her comm unit. "Ensign Teryn, this is
Captain Skyler, could you please meet me in my quarters as soon as possible. I
would appreciate it." After signing off she stood and taking a deep breath
she followed Moreya out. The science officer went to the bridge for a moment,
Skyler made her way to her quarters wondering what was going to happen.
***** ***** *****
After they'd parted ways, Tery had gone to her quarters. She'd tried to
meditate, to find her calm center as her father had taught her - no, as her
father had taught her, she corrected herself. She was not the original, but
sometimes she tended to think of herself as such, lose herself to a degree in
the
identity she'd taken on. She could never lose herself completely in it, or
she would lose who she really was, what she really was. But at times like
this, she found it hard to separate Sera Teryn from
Shelyrra-who-had-become-Sera-Teryn. Did it even matter if she lost Skyler?
Of course it matters, Young One. The kind voice she had come to trust over
the years whispered in her thoughts.
She closed her eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. I know it happened so
quickly, Theida, but I love her. I... Her breath caught in her throat,
turned into a strangled sob. I can't lose her.
The older being who called herself Theida brushed Tery's mind with warmth.
Then don't give up. Show her that your love is true. She counseled gently.
How?! Tery's thought was a plaintive plea for help. They forced me to hurt
her. They took me away from her. How can I make up for that? More tears
slid down her cheeks, but she was heedless of them. The pain she'd caused
Skyler was stronger. It cut through her like a Ginsu. She knew it was not
her
fault, but she understood why Skyler felt the way she did. She only wished
she could fix this, mend the rift.
The soft brush of warmth came again. That is the past, Young One. You
cannot change it. You can only go forward, as can she. But actions are much
more convincing than any words. Tell her your heart, then show it to her.
Tery knew the truth of those words. She nodded even though Theida was not in
the room with her, only touching her mind from far away. I want to, Theida.
I only hope she gives me that chance.
The comm interrupted anything else she might have said, making her open her
eyes and wince. The time had come to face what had been done, and she was
scared, truly scared, of what Skyler might say. What if she called her there
only to tell her it was over? Well, she'd be well within her right given what
had happened.
Don't borrow trouble. Go to her.
Tery nodded, stood and cleaned up, then tried to prepare herself for what
was coming. All the way to Skyler's quarters, she rehearsed and threw out
several things to say. None of them seemed good enough. All of the words she
could conjure seemed... small and unimportant. And all too soon, she was
standing before the quarters door, hand hovering over the announcer.
You can do this. Calm and steady. The comforting voice whispered, and Tery
pushed the announcer before she could lose her nerve.
Skyler had been pacing, unsure of what to do with herself. Tery would be
arriving soon and hopefully Moreya would be here when she did. She wasn't sure
how she would handle things if that wasn't the case. As she was contemplating
what she was going to say or do she heard her door chime go off. Tery was
here, and Moreya wasn't.
Taking a deep breath she moved behind her couch and uttered the word,
"Open." As she stood there the door opened to reveal Tery, as beautiful as
ever,
standing there. "Hello Tery, come in and have a seat." Skyler was more nervous
than she had ever been in her life. Well, not quite. She had been more nervous
that first time with Moreya.
When the door opened, Tery felt her breath catch in her throat. Before her
stood the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, to her way of thinking anyway.
Again, she felt the panic rise in her. What if...?
No, don't think that way. She told herself as she forced her body to move,
to cross the room and take the offered seat. She could sense Skyler's
tension, and that only served to further unnerve her. But she held it all in,
boxed it up and cleared her mind... or tried to.
"Hello, Skyler." She responded in kind to Skyler's greeting. There was so
much more she wanted to say, but it all refused to emerge... yet. First, she
had to hear what Skyler had to say.
Before either of them could say anything else, the announcer went off again.
When the door opened, Moreya entered, smiling. "Tery," she said, offering
her a hand and a further reassuring smile, "It's very good to see you." She
sat down on the floor near her. Looking from her to Skyler, she added, "I'm
here to help, if I'm needed."
Looking at both Moreya and Tery Skyler didn't know where to begin. Her
insides were a jumbled mess and she was surprised that she didn't look that way
on
the outside. Going over to the replicator she produced three cups of tea. She
returned handing one to Tery and one to Moreya, trying not to let their
touch linger. Taking her cup of tea she sat on the floor as well.
"You are looking well Tery. The time away must have done you some good. You
look....rested." ~This is ridiculous, I haven't the first clue as to what to
say or how to act. Maybe this was a mistake. I just don't know anymore.~
"Have you checked in with Lt. K'etrall? I know she will be needing all the
help she can get with this upcoming mission." She looked at Moreya as if to
say, "what am I doing here?"
"I don't know how much you know about our mission, Tery," Moreya said. "But
as I have told Skyler, I think it is of such a nature that we all need to be
focused in our minds, and that any unfinished business between any of us
could be a deadly mistake. Literally." She looked from one to the other of
them. "I'm aware of how close the two of you were; that you had to part
without
a proper leave-taking; and that has created this rift. You need to
communicate with each other and understand yourselves. I would like to think
I'm a
friend to both of you, and I hope I can help."
Tery sighed. Moreya was right, of course. Her eyes went to Skyler first then
back to Moreya. "One can never have too many friends." she offered quietly.
"And I know that Skyler treasures you. I... like you." She didn't know the
woman as well as Skyler did, so she could not share the depth of feeling. But
she did like Moreya and think that friendship was definitely something she
would like to have with the woman.
But now her eyes and thoughts shifted to Skyler. They always did given
enough time. But now they were troubled. How did one even begin to apologize
for
leaving the way she'd done? She looked down into her tea and sighed again,
heavily.
"I'm not sure I know where to start." She finally murmured, looking up then
to look into Skyler's eyes. So much hurt shimmered there that she felt as
though it might tear her heart out. She swallowed and pushed forward. "I'm
sorry.
I wasn't given time to do anything. I..." She shook her head. This was
insane; what could she do? The apology was not nearly enough, she felt. But it
was
all she had to give. That and her love. And that shone in her eyes as she
spoke. "I'm sorry..." More-so than she could even begin to express. But she
tried to convey it in those words and the look in her storm grey eyes.
Skyler was finding it hard to say the least to look at Tery. Especially
after the time she had spent with Moreya. Moreya had been there when she needed
her and would continue to be there. That was the one constant in her
life...outside of Georgia. And even Georgia had left for awhile.
"Believe it or not, this is as awkward for me as it is for you.
I.....thought when I met you that we were destined to be together. Yet, one
minute you
were here and the next you were gone. No reason. No note. Nothing." She looked
at Moreya before continuing. "I thought I had done something wrong or that I
wasn't good enough for you. I didn't want to feel anything again because it
hurt too much. My self confidence plummeted like never before. I don't
understand why you left. I just don't get it. You said you loved me. Was that a
lie?
I don't know anymore."
She had never felt so alone as she did at that particular moment. She
shouldn't have, not with Moreya there. Perhaps Moreya was right and that they
needed to clear the air. Remove any baggage that might hinder their mission.
A
mission she still wasn't sure she understood other than it was upsetting to
Moreya and that it was quite serious.
Before Tery could answer Skyler's question, Moreya said, "Tery, you just
said you weren't given time to do anything -- which presumably includes being
able to explain why you had to leave." She kept her voice and manner calm and
gentle. "Is it possible for you to explain now? I'm guessing that it was
someone other than our masters in Starfleet Command who called you away."
Tery saw it as much as heard it and felt it, the hurt and emptiness in
Skyler's eyes and voice. It tore at her like the savage claws of some great
beast. But Moreya was right; she could explain now. Her eyes flicked to the
Deltan, and she took a deep, steadying breath.
"You're right. It wasn't Starfleet." She whispered. "It was Betazed.
They insisted I come immediately, without hesitation." She looked back to
Skyler as she continued. "They said it was urgent. When I arrived, I..." she
swallowed hard. Even now, the vision of her father, dying, hung heavily in
her
mind. "It was my father. He..." She closed her eyes, forcing herself to
finish that. "I arrived in time to watch him die." she whispered. And that
revelation took all the spark out of her. Her shoulders slumped, and the tea
was placed back on the coffee table.
She only hesitated a moment before she forced herself to open her eyes and
face Skyler's once more. "I'm sorry that this all hurt you, that you were so
lost and harmed. I'd never harm you wittingly, willingly." She shook her
head a bit to clear it. "And I can't ask you to just forget all of that and
pick up where we left off; that isn't fair to you anymore than the initial
leaving was. All I can ask is that you try to forgive me. Try to understand.
And believe that... that I do love you."
She understood Skyler's doubt and fear. She'd likely have felt the same had
the roles been reversed. And she would never push the other lady. But she
had to say it, that she loved her still, even if the other no longer believed
it. It was the Truth of Feeling.
Standing Skyler made her way back to the replicator and ordered another
drink for herself. Her throat was beyond parched. She wanted to believe what
Tery
was saying. She supposed that part of her did yet at the same time it
didn't. "How do I forgive something I don't understand? You couldn't leave a
note,
a quick message on the computer? Instead you just up and leave. I am sorry on
your loss of that you can be sure. If I had known perhaps I could've helped
in some way. Been there for you, beside you. Instead I was cast aside." Taking
a long deep pull of her drink she replaced it and ordered another one.
Cast aside? Was that what she truly thought? Of course it was; why else
would she say it. But it was not what Tery had done, not what she'd meant to
do. Maybe it would be saner for both of them if she left now, quit while they
were behind, gave Skyler the freedom to move on. But, somehow, she couldn't
do that, just abandon her. She wanted to reach out to her, to hold her and
assure her that it would all be all right. But she could see that would
be... unwelcome?... at the moment.
"I'm sorry." She said softly, looking up at Skyler. "That wasn't what I
wanted to do, what I wanted to make you feel." What could she say or do now
though? The deed was done, and there was no undoing it. And she'd given her
reassurances, but they would not be believed for a while yet, until she proved
their veracity. She understood that, even respected it. So the apology, as
small and inadequate as it was, was all she had to give... and her love, for
as long as Skyler would accept it.
Moreya regarded both women, taking them in with sight and smell, sensing as
well the emotions swirling in the air like dust devils. "You love each
other," she said quietly, "that much would be plain to anyone. But there is
hurt
between you. I don't usually do this, but I will offer my advice. Give
yourselves a bit of time to rest, and think on the love, not the hurt. I will
listen to either or both of you, if you need it. And when you are ready, if
you wish, there is a ritual my people often use when an estranged couple is
ready to reconcile. I would gladly help bind you back to one another."
Skyler looked from Moreya to Tery and back again. She truly did love both
women and wanted both women in her life. The question was, was it possible to
have both. "I think that is a good idea Moreya. I think some rest would do
everyone some good. I know there is a lot for me to think about."
Tery nodded quietly. She was grateful for Moreya's offer, especially given
that the woman really didn't know her. There was something warm and, dare
she say, safe about the Deltan. Perhaps it was the excess pheromones they
emitted, but Tery found herself willing to talk to the woman. Besides, maybe
being able to hear both sides, Moreya, as an outsider, could offer her some
tidbit of understanding she would not have come to on her own.
"Thank you, Moreya, for the offer. And I would be very grateful if I could
talk with you sometime." She shook her head a bit as if to shake some
clarity back into it. It didn't work, of course. "But right now, you're
likely
right. I can't, and don't, expect Skyler to just take up where we left off as
if nothing happened; I'm not a fool. I just..." her eyes panned to Skyler
"hope we can reconcile." She sincerely meant those words. She wanted to be
with Skyler. And if she had to share her with Moreya - yes, she'd noted the
looks Skyler favored Moreya with throughout the conversation, subtle and
likely
subconscious as they were - then so be it. Under all the Bajoran and
Betazoid was a Maltosian, the most flowing and adaptable creatures yet known.
She
would adapt to whatever she needed to in order to be with and make Skyler
happy.
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