<USS Avalon> "Girl Talk"

Girl Talk
Commander Skyler and
Lieutenant Commander Elissabeth Marksbury


Skyler was back in her quarters after her time in the holodeck with Amelia. It 
had proved to be a most interesting time if nothing else. Amelia definitely had 
something on her mind but it had to be on her terms and in her own time. Skyler 
wasn't going anywhere so she could wait. Right now she had a meeting to prepare 
for with Lissi. She changed into a new uniform and sat at her desk going over 
reports while she waited. 

And waited. 

And waited.... 

It had been over an hour and Lissi was late, which was not at all like her. 
Skyler tried to call her but apparently she wasn?t answering her calls. If 
Lissi would not come to her to then she would go to Lissi. The closer she got 
to Marksbury's quarter's the more she sensed that something just wasn't right. 
Lissi was not herself. Something had happened and it had Elissabeth all down 
and depressed. 

Upon reaching Lissi's quarters Skyler rang the chime and waited..... and waited 
and again got no answer. This time she used her command overrides and opened 
the door only to find Lissi curled up on the couch all mopey and 
just......different. Walking over to her she tried to get Lissi's attention but 
it was as if she were off in another world. Skyler didn't want to get into her 
head yet unless absolutely necessary so she first went and replicated some tea 
and returned to the couch and sat down next to her friend. 

"Lissi, it's me Skyler. What is going on? You missed your appointment and now I 
find you all mopey and depressed. This is not like you. I can sense that 
something has happened so why don't you tell me?" 

Not getting an answer she shouted at her friend. "LISSI, WHAT IN THE HELL IS 
GOING ON? TALK TO ME!" 

Lissi finally turned around, Skyler could tell from looking at her that she had 
been crying and most likely hadn't had much sleep. Something must have happened 
that had upset her and now she was trying to hide from it. Hiding from it 
wasn't the answer and they both knew it. One way or another Skyler was going to 
find out what had happened to her friend.

Looking at Skyler with glazed eyes, Elissabeth whispered, "I think I've lost my 
mind." 

Sitting down next to Lissi, Skyler wiped the hair away from her face and looked 
at her. "What makes you think you have lost your mind?" She could sense that 
something was wrong but she wasn't going to pry just yet. Hopefully Lissi would 
tell her on her own. 

"Skyler, I've done something completely unforgivable, not to mention 
irrational, impetuous, and just plain stupid." She shook her head as if trying 
to forget the last 24 hours. 

"Whatever you did can't be as bad as you make it sound. You are not one to do 
those things and even if you did I am sure you never meant to harm anyone or 
anything. Why don't you just tell me what happened? First drink some of this 
tea then tell me." Skyler got up and found a blanket and placed it around 
Lissi's shoulders. She had always been attracted to Lissi but knew that nothing 
would ever come of it, but at least they were good friends. That was enough for 
her. 

Elissabeth let out a dry laugh. "How about sleeping with one of my 
subordinates? That crazy enough for you?" 

Skyler just looked at Lissi, thinking about Ameila who was her subordinate. 
"No, it's not crazy. It depends on the circumstances and if it was something 
you wanted to happen. If sleeping with a subordinate was wrong then I should've 
never married an Ensign, should I? What exactly happened? And you are not 
crazy, at least not in my book." 

"How about this? I knew her feelings for me and I used her." 

A little taken back it took Skyler a moment to catch her breath. "Let me get 
this straight. You slept with another woman? One who you knew had feelings for 
you? How do you figure that constitutes using her?" 

"Because I don't have any feelings for her. Not like that, anyway. It was 
just... I was... I don't know. It was wrong."

"How was it wrong? Did she try to stop you and you forced yourself on her, or 
was it simply someone needing to be comforted by another person and that person 
happen to have feelings for the other and knew the risk and chance she was 
taking? You didn't do anything wrong, Lissi. You needed comforting and this 
person obviously cared enough about you to be there for you, even though she 
knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. To be honest I wish it had been me, but it 
wasn't. You have nothing to be ashamed of or to blame yourself for. Sometimes 
our feelings take over and we have no control. That is just a part of life and 
it's varied experiences. You are not crazy because of it." Skyler put her arm 
around her friend and pulled her closer just to hold her, nothing more. She 
needed to comfort her and Lissi needed to be comforted, to be shown she wasn't 
crazy. 

Leaning her head against Skyler's shoulder, she asked, "But is it like me at 
all to do something so irresponsible? For goodness sake, Skyler, James was the 
first, and up until last night, the only person I'd ever been with. There's 
just something wrong."

Skyler held Lissi and kissed the top of her head. "Lissi, let me ask you a 
question. Did you enjoy the experience? Was it different than when you were 
with James? You weren't doing anything irresponsible. You were caught up in 
your feelings and there is nothing wrong with that. Apparently it was easier 
for you to act on your feelings with this person than it had been for you to 
act on them with James. Look at how long it took you to finally let yourself be 
with James. It was almost as it you had to work at it. I have a feeling that 
whoever this person was that you were with, you didn't have to work at being 
with them, with letting them see you as yourself. As a loving caring person. 
That should tell you something. It tells me something. Too bad it wasn't me, 
but that is besides the point."

Blinking in surprise, Elissabeth pulled back slightly to look into Skyler's 
face. "Too bad it wasn't you?" 

Skyler still had her arm around Lissi and pulled her back toward her. "Calm 
down. Somewhere in that mind of yours you had to have some inkling of how I 
felt, however I never said or acted on it because I didn't want to do anything 
to ruin the friendship we have. I am not going to start lying to you now. That 
would be just as bad. You never answered my question. Was it easier to be with 
this other person than it was to be with James regardless of the 
circumstances?" Skyler knew she was risking losing something precious to her 
but she wanted to help her friend and that was all that mattered. If it meant 
losing her in the process then so be it. 

"Actually, no, I didn't know. I didn't even know that you... well, I mean, you 
were married and I assumed..." Suddenly she laughed a bit. "I'm just sticking 
my foot in it, aren't I? To answer your question, I'm not really sure. I still 
miss James. It's him that I want. Anna was... there and she was so sweet and 
caring and I needed someone..." She let the sentence trail away, not sure where 
she wanted to go with it anyway. 

"You are not sticking your foot in anything, Liss. Are you sure you want James 
even after you know he betrayed your trust? It seems to me that whenever you 
need someone James is never around. So why are you so sure it is him that you 
want? How do you know you don't want someone or something else? How was it with 
Anna?" 

"I'm sure I want him, but I know it's not what's good for me or us. And he's 
not around because I won't let him be, but he still tries to take care of me." 
Sighing, Elissabeth stood and paced back and forth in front of the viewport. 
"You know, this is not easy to talk about." 

"I know it's not easy to talk about, because you are the first person I have 
told how I feel. Yes I was married, but it didn't work out and then I started 
to have other feelings, feelings I didn't understand. Feelings I have yet to 
act upon. To be honest I envy Anna, even if it is for one night. She got to be 
with a very special woman. I don't think you used her, she knew what she was 
getting into. She was there to comfort you when you needed it most. You are not 
crazy. If you know James is not good for you that should tell you something. 
Lissi I am only trying to be your friend. I hope you know that. I only want 
what is best for you." Skyler got up and walked up behind Lissi and put her 
arms around her waist. "You have to quit torturing yourself." Skyler could 
smell the shampoo in her hair. Oh, how she envied Anna. 

"Skyler," she began, stepping away and turning to face her friend, "I'm sorry 
that I don't feel that way about you or Anna. I care for you both... just not 
romantically. It's not a matter of being attracted, it was just a connection. 
Comfort." She smiled, "But if it means anything, I always thought if I was ever 
going to be close to someone, it would be you." 

"Lissi, I always knew you didn't feel anything romantically for me and that is 
fine. Honestly. It's more important to me that we are close friends and that we 
can talk about anything and be honest with each other. That's what matters. I 
appreciate the thought and it means a lot, but your friendship means more. Does 
that make any sense at all?" 

Elissabeth smiled brighter, "Of course it does." 

"Do you trust me when I say you are not crazy, and you have done nothing 
stupid? You are also a good person and James is lucky to have you, just as I am 
lucky to have you as a friend, as a best friend. Someone I can trust and 
confide in and who hopefully feels the same way." 

Tears sprang to her eyes. "I'm talking to you, aren't I?" That smirk played at 
the corner of her lips as usual.

Tears welled up in Skyler's eyes and she approached Lissi. She put her arms 
around her and hugged her. "I hope you keep talking to me and that nothing 
changes that. I would be lost with out you. You have helped me find my family 
and I feel like I would be nothing without you so no more feeling sorry for 
yourself and just know that no one did anything they didn't want to do." Skyler 
looked at Lissi and gave her a quick kiss and let her go. "I will always be 
here for you no matter what the problem, Lissi. Always." 

Hugging Skyler back, Elissabeth sniffed back even more tears. "Damn you, making 
me cry. Again." She laughed and said, "Thank you, Skyler. I've had such a hard 
time lately, just felt so... alone, even though I know it's not true." 

"You numnut. I don't know what I am going to do with you. But if you don't stop 
crying I am going to start again which means I will have to hug you again and 
god knows where we will end up." Skyler looked at Lissi and just grinned. 
"Gotcha. You are never alone as long as I am around, all you have to do is call 
or I can come a calling in your head, but you are never alone my friend. I love 
you." 

Elissabeth stepped forward and quickly hugged Skyler instead. "Love you too, 
Skyler." 

"Feel better now?" 

"A little, yeah. I'm still afraid I've hurt Anna and it makes me just hate 
myself for it." 

"How about if I talk to her for you? It might help and it couldn't hurt." 

"No! No, please, don't. This is so personal. Please don't." It was obvious that 
Elissabeth was still quite embarrassed.

"Lissi, the only way to make it better is to get it out in the open and talk 
about it. I know it is personal believe me, I've been sitting here pouring my 
guts out to you. If the two of us go together, I can be the mediator how?s 
that?" 

"No, Skyler, please. I can handle it, really. But thanks for the offer."

"Are you sure? Because I will do anything to help you." Skyler really wanted to 
help but would abide by Lissi's request. 

"I know you will. This is just between Anna and I. She's such a good kid and I 
don't want to hurt her for anything. We got off to such a bad start, but she's 
been a really good friend to me, if more stubborn than I am." 

"I hate to tell you but no one is as stubborn as I am but I will abide by your 
wishes on one condition. You still have to come see me each day like we agreed. 
I also still need to talk to or would like to meet your team." 

"You will. I promise." Wiping any remaining tears from her eyes, Elissabeth 
said, "I guess I should go get ready and get my ass to work." 

"Ok, Lissi you return to work but you missed the meeting we had scheduled today 
so I expect to see you tomorrow."

"Consider my hand smacked. Self-pity over. I'll be there." 


                
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