<USS Avalon> Facing Feelings, part one
- From: Debra Mosqueda <mightymidgie@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:50:17 -0700 (PDT)
Mac walked into the quarters he and Josh shared and froze. The gravity and
temperature were wonko again, but that wasn?t what threw him for a loop. He?d
dealt with that off an on for years. The problem with his quarters was bigger
than that.
They were empty.
The furniture was gone.
?Um?.Josh?? he began, uncertain how to proceed as he spotted his friend and
roommate on his hands and knees scrubbing the already near-sparkling floor.
?Where is my stuff??
Josh gestured toward the back room without a word, his attention focused
entirely on some apparent blemish there before him.
?Next question. Why is my furniture stacked in the bedroom?? Mac was trying
hard to be patient. He?s having a rough time, he reminded himself, taking a
deep breath. He's trying to cope. Be supportive.
?Floor was dirty.? Josh mumbled in his typically near-inaudible tones.
Mac blew out an exasperated breath. ?You just scrubbed it this morning right
after shift was over.?
?Not under the furniture.? Josh replied without looking up, still engrossed in
his task.
?Nobody cares if it?s a little dusty under the furniture. Joshua.? He stepped
forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. ?Joshua, come on?stop??
Josh stiffened beneath his hand. ?Please let go.?
?No, dammit, Josh this is getting out of hand. You need to stop.? Mac demanded,
trying to nudge him gently to his feet.
Josh shrugged away, still without looking up, his quiet voice taking on a
dangerous edge. ?Please?let go ?now.?
?Josh?? Mac insisted, reaching again for his friends arm.
Josh rose without thinking and turned, pinning Mac to the wall by his throat
in less time than it takes to blink. Letting go and stepping back, as if
suddenly realizing what he'd done, his eyes filled with anger. Mac knew him.
He knew when not to push him. Drawing a breath, he turned around, his hands
shaking with the sudden surge of adrenaline that demanded release, and resumed
what he had been doing when Mac walked in, trying hard to calm back down.
Mac stood there, his eyes wide, unable to believe what had just happened, but
realizing he should have expected it. Maybe it's a good thing, he thought.
Maybe it was time for the explosion. Maybe the healing could begin once the
pent up anger was finally spent. Rubbing his throat gingerly against the
fast-darkening bruises, he said in quiet disbelief. ?Look?I?m trying hard to be
patient here?to keep in mind how much you?ve lost??
?Don?t.? Josh stopped him, that same edge to his quiet voice.
?Don?t what, Josh?? Mac demanded, pushing his friend to either fight or face
it, but refusing to let him flee. ?You?re going to have to be clearer than that
this time. Don?t try to be here for you? Don?t be patient with you? Don?t
remember why you?re this messed up right now??
Josh rose and headed for the door in one fluid motion, his
______________________________expression deceptively neutral, save for his eyes
in which flashed a dangerous mix of pain and anger.
Mac moved quickly, blocking his path. ?No, Josh. You do not get to keep doing
this. You do not get to run away this time. No more hiding. It?s time to face
it.? He reached out again as his friend tried to go around him, grasping his
arm, knowing what a dangerous move that was at this point.
Josh reacted instantly and instinctively, as he had so many times in the mines
when reflexes and adrenaline kept him alive long after all rational thought had
ceased. Mac expected it this time though and was ready for it. He shifted,
using Josh?s own weight, such as it was, against him, propelling Josh past him
and into the wall and attempting to pin him there. What he hadn?t accounted for
was Josh?s strength. Josh lifted him easily, even in the increased gravity as
though he were nearly weightless, and threw him to the floor, grabbing the vent
covering overhead and preparing to bring it down full force, on Mac?s head. Mac
rolled left, only just in time as the cover hit the floor hard enough to mar
the flooring. He kicked out, sending Josh sprawling.
He didn't stay down long.
Mac could barely get his feet under him before Josh was on him, the force of
the blow enough to send him back to the floor and to send his head bouncing off
the floor beneath him. Gasping for air and seeing stars, he lay there a
moment, knowing that he was in danger. He'd seen in his friend in fight or
flight situations before, both on the holodeck in his simulation of home, and
on the Santa Ana after they were boarded. Josh was past thinking now and
operating strictly on pure and deadly instinct. Mac knew without question he'd
bitten off more than he could handle.
If he didn't do something quick, there was a good chance he was going to die.
Annabelle was sick and tired of being pushed away. The final straw had been
overhearing Ming and Vilya talking about something Josh was planning and that
involded him leaving. He'd leave over her dead body! She reached out to ring
the chime, but when she heard the noises inside she opted to override the door
lock. Stepping inside the scene before her took her aback and it took a moment
for her to react.
"JOSHUA!"
Josh whirled, hearing someone coming close from behind and still acting on
reflex and instinct, his blow a mere centimeter from her temple before her
voice and identity finally registered. He took a long step backwards assessing
the situation, his mind finally registering what had taken place, his anger
abruptly spent. He turned back again to see Mac on the floor, slowly rolling
into a kneeling position.
"My fault," Mac gasped, as he rose unsteadily to his feet. "provoked
him...pushed him...knew where it was going..."
He coughed weakly, staggering . Josh was at his side, easing him into a sitting
position quickly. Mac looked at him and almost laughed, seeing the worried
______________________________expression in his eyes where murderous rage had
lived only moments before. He reached up and ruffled Josh's curls, reasonably
sure he'd get away with even that now. Quickly, Josh shifted out of reach and,
pulling out his portable med-kit, began scanning Mac's injuries, pushing away
all thoughts of how they'd occurred for the moment.
"S'okay...relax...I'm alright," Mac waved him off, catching his breath at last
as his vision cleared. "But, damn, kid...for such a wiry bastard, you sure do
hit hard." He laughed as he said it, enjoying the baffled look on his friends
face, so like the Josh of old he almost dared believe he might have reached
through the anger and grief and found him after all.
"Chase to Jameson, Anna could you come to the boys place please."
Annabelle knew Josh could pass for a damn good medic, but she wanted a real
doctor to check then both out. She looked at each of them and then planted her
hands firmly on her hips. "What the fuck is wrong with the two of you!?"
Josh averted his gaze, looking terribly ashamed. He couldn't begin to explain
what had happened there. He wasn't really sure himself. Mac, however, just
laughed even harder. "Don't you have any brothers, Belle? Guess what." he
leaned forward and whispered conspiritorially,"Sometimes, they fight..."
Josh looked at Mac confused a moment, then smiled in spite of himself. It was
very obvious Mac was intentionally digging himself in deeper and loving every
minute of it.
"You both could have been hurt!" Annabelle scolded as she shook her head. "What
am I going to do with you two bone heads?"
Mac winked at her, gesturing for her to come closer and licking his lips. "I've
got an idea or two," he teased. Josh reddened, giving Mac a look that only made
him laugh harder.
Annabelle rolled her eyes. "Sorry studly but I'm a one man woman and I go for
the more tall, thin, shy types. I know a couple of kittens how be more then
happy to handle you for me though."
Pelting down the corridor, Anna slapped the chime to get admittance. "It's
Anna, let me in, what's happened?"
"I slipped...sort of..on the wet floor..." Mac blurted out, trying not to
laugh. That was partly true, he figured. He did fall on his ass. And part of
the floor was wet at the time. Realizing that didn't explain Josh at all he
added. "...him too..."
Again Annabelle rolled her eyes. "You need to be smacked." She told Mac before
turning to Anna. "Rocky and Bulwikle(sp?) here were rolling around on the floor
throwing punches. I swear I'll never understand the mind of anything with a
dick."
"Fighting? Us? ..." Mac tried hard to look first indignant then angelic. "Would
we do that?" He shook his head, then knudgedJosh, who, though studiously
examining the floor, appeared to be trying very hard not to laugh. "Honest,
Anna. We just fell, didn't we Josh?"
"Uh-huh." Anna gave Mac the quick once over, eye-balling his injuries. "How
does slipping on the floor give you buising around your neck?"
"Well, " Mac began, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of his explanation,
"Josh tried to catch me, see...and he...well...caught me..but around the neck.
And, well, when he realized that wasn't a good idea, he let go...and I
landed...and he sort of got thrown off balance, see...when he let go...and he
fell. Like that. Exactly. Could happen to anyone."
"That's the biggest load of cods-whallop I've every heard in my life." Anna
flipped out her tricorder. "You're lucky there's no internal injuries." She
healed the surface wounds, smiling ruefully. "I should leave this nice ring
around your neck, to remind you of how lucky you are."
"Do it and I'll tell everyone you gave them to me during rough sex, lovey," Mac
told her, with a wink, grinning wildly.
Returning Mac's smile, Anna raised an eyebrow. "And who says that would bother
me?"
"OOH, My kind of girl. You busy tonight?" Mac laughed.
"Absolutely, I have a particularly pleasant date with a medical journal lined
up. Would you like to join us? There's a particularly good article on unusual
neck bruising in it." She winked at him and turned to Josh. "You okay, Sport?"
Josh shrugged slightly and nodded without looking up.
"He'll be alright, won't you kid..." Mac said, ruffling his curls again and
laughing as he again shifted out of reach and shot him a look of pure
bafflement. "So, what time does our little threesome begin?"
Annabelle smiled as she listened to her two friends. Their back and forth was
making Josh smile, or at least what passed for a smile with Josh. Sitting down
close to him she whispered. "I've missed that."
Josh looked at her, completely lost. She'd missed what?
"Your smile." She replied to his unspoken question. "You."
"You're serious?" Anna gaped at Mac. "You'd spend the evening with me and a
med journal?" Shaking her head, her gaze swept the room. "Erm... where's all
the furniture?"
"Oh, hell yeah," Mac answered her first question with a grin which widened as
she looked around the room. He and Josh looked at each other, knowing what was
coming. When at last she asked the question that started it all, Mac couldn't
help but laugh. Joshua blushed furiously as he gestured toward the bedroom
where the furniture was all very neatly and carefully stacked one piece on top
of the other.
Annabelle laughed. "My roommate's a pig. You wanna come clean my place next?"
Mac laughed even harder as Josh shrugged, clearly taking her comment seriously.
?Careful, Annabelle. He?ll really do it.?
Before she got too involved in the furniture situation, Anna turned back to
Josh. "You mind if I give you a quick scan here Sport? Just to keep me happy?"
Josh sighed, shooting a bewildered glance at Mac. "No, he doesn't mind," Mac
prompted sternly, despite the laughter. "Make sure to hit on things like body
mass and healthy weights for beanpoles and such, will you Anna?" He winked, but
this time the look in his eyes told Anna he was only half joking.
Annabelle looked at Mac but her comment was directed at Josh, though she wasn't
sure he'd catch on. "Well, as long as he helped me put the bed back."
Josh looked at her confused. "Back where?" he finally asked at last. Had her
roommate moved her bed too?
"God your cute." Annabelle replied, bit her lip, and then kissed him quickly on
the cheek.
Josh blushed furiously, studying the floor once again. Cute?
Flipping out her tricorder, Anna started to scan the exceptionally thin man.
Bruises, a few cuts and scrapes, nothing there to be worried about. What did
worry her was the unusually low blood-sugar level and his lack of body-weight.
"You're not eating." She glanced at him. "You need to eat, Sport."
Josh looked at her seriously. "I did..." he paused. " I think..." he said even
more quietly. He looked at Mac, "Didn't I?" He knew he'd meant to. He stood up
and walked toward the replicator to see when he'd last pulled from the menu, no
longer certain. Glancing sheepishly toward Anna, he replicated a small
seedless, coreless apple and a cup of coffee then returned to the group. He
looked at Mac and shrugged apologetically. He really had intended to this time.
He just got sidetracked by the dirt spots on the floor.
"That is not a nutritious meal, Sport. If you don't eat something more
substantial than that, you'll end up on a drip in Sick Bay. You'll end up
emaciated. Please, eat something a bit more wholesome than that, okay?"
Josh looked at her a moment, then shrugged before standing and heading back
toward the replicator, looking for something else that wouldn't clash with
coffee.
?He always eats like that,? Mac told her. ?A little here a little there as he
remembers throughout the day, if he remembers, unless we set a time to eat.
Then it?s sort of a matter of looking at what he programmed into the replicator
and pick ten things for him to pick at.? Mac looked at her, remembering how
that problem had been solved before. ?He?s got the full menu?s Dr. Sarbo from
the Santa Ana laid out, but he doesn?t usually manage to sit still long enough
to eat them anymore.? He thought about it some more, then remembered."If he
doesn't remember the anacrese, he'll end up looking like that anyway, even if
he does eat. His metabolism is crazy fast. He has to have that to slow it
down." Glancing at Annabelle, he grinned as a possible solution came to mind
that would help his friend, he believed, in more ways than one. "Maybe if we
had a volunteer meal buddy for him? Annabelle? Sarbo had him set up with three
meals and two snacks a day. So, that means, some lovely person
would
have to be willing to come and spend time with him five times a day, remind
him to take the anacrese and supplements and help him out with the whole meal
thing. Wine and dine him. Keep him company." He grinned broadly. "Of course, if
nobody here's interested I'm sure I could find a volunteer or two in the
lounge..." He made as if to get up then, daring Annabelle to argue.
Annabelle gave Mac a look that clearly told him that if he called any other
female aside from her and Anna when it came to Josh she'd personally deball
him. "I can do that. It would be easier if we were on the same shift. I could
even help out with the shuttle. We use to make a hell of team back in the
academy's hanger bays."
"Hell, Belle," Mac grinned. "We can definitely get you a shift change. Marconi
has been begging to get off Gamma shift for months. I'm sure he'd love to trade
with you."
Josh came back over as Mac was finishing his comment with another cup of
coffee, but nothing else. He looked at Anna and shrugged apologetically. "I'll
go to hydroponics later," he promised so quietly even Annabelle, who was
sitting right next to him, could barely hear him. He looked around the room as
he drank his coffee and frowned at what still needed to be done there first.
"Okay, just make sure you eat." Anna frowned significantly at him. "I can't
do anything else." Stuffing her equipment back in her case, she smiled at him.
"And now I'm all done here. I have a date with a journal so if you will all
excuse me, I better not disappoint it." As she turned to the door, she called
over her shoulder, "Hey Mac, if you're still interested in joining us, you know
where to find us."
"Be there as soon as I find a volunteer to watch the kid," he grinned, winking
at Annabelle and ignoring Josh's bewildered glance. "So..you think I can find a
volunteer?"
If the couch had been where it should have been, Annabelle would have picked up
and thrown a pillow at Mac. "Will you just get out and leave us alone you thick
headed lug." She said with a laugh.
"Sure, fine, be that way," Mac laughed. "Oh...and Bean...you wanna...you
know.." he gestured toward the room where the furniture was stacked. Josh
nodded."Thanks, kid." He grinned at them wolfishly as he headed out the door.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't."
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