<USS Avalon> "Covert Operations Interviews - Part 4 - Wounded in the Line of Duty"

Covert Operations Interviews - Part 4 - Wounded in the Line of Dutyby Ensign 
Ffej Harak with Petty Officer Vevay Davis and Warrant Officer Alexander Gibson 


The butterflies in Vevay's stomach were ruthlessly crushed under her boots as 
she rang the chime to Ensign Harak's quarters. Alexander was stood behind her 
to the left and was already pulling out his PADD, setting it up to record the 
interview. His words were echoing in her head, not that she needed them to. She 
knew her job, she knew what needed to be done.

Ffej stopped in mid stride, seconds before entering the shower. Grabbing his 
workout pants, he walked them on as he groggily made his way to the door. 
Taking a second to make sure he was presentable, he thumbed the door open. He 
blinked a few times, "Hey Vevay, you le..." His head tilted slightly when he 
realized she wasn't alone. "I take it this isn't a house call."

"Good morning Ensign Harak, my name is Petty Officer Vevay Davis and this is 
Warrant Officer Alexander Gibson." Holding out her hand for it to be shaken, 
her cold eyes fixed on his for just a moment. "We are officers for the Judge 
Advocate General, may we come in?"

All warmth vanished from his face, his eyes narrowed, his response clipped. 
"JAG... humph. By all means." He stepped aside and motioned for them to enter. 
"Please excuse the lack of furnature. You shouldn't get too dirty on the 
floor..."

"Thank you but we will stand." Marching past him, she almost flinched at how 
familiar it all was, how much she yearned to still be in Security, to not have 
lied to him. "We are investigating the death of one of your crewmen, a Yeoman 
John Forester. We are interviewing all the people that knew him, worked with 
him, interacted with him and, of course, those that were there for his death," 
she said as she turned back to look at him, none of her feelings for this man 
showing on her face.

The muscles in his cheeks twitched, his gaze never left her eyes. "As you will 
'Officer'." Ffej stepped over and lowered himself into the lump he used as a 
chair. He had purposely positioned himself between them and his wall of steel, 
They want to intimidate me into submission... Let them try, I'll throw it back 
at them. A memory of his mother's advice drifted through his mind, "Never show 
fear, it has no hold on you if you hold onto it." He relaxed back and crossed 
his legs before him. "What is it you wished to know?"

Never once flinching at his deliberate provocation, Vevay simply started the 
questions she'd design earlier. "Please explain the nature of your relationship 
with John Forester."

He smirked, which melted into a sneer. "We were teammates of covert ops. We 
trained togeather 'til we trusted each of our members. A bond was formed that 
is only natural among family." His gaze slid sideways and looked at the other 
officer for the first time. He remained in the background, obviously a witness 
and probably an advisor. Ffej's gaze snapped back to Vevay instantly.

"And how did you, personally, feel about his death?"

His answer was clipped, he slid his gaze to the window and the stars beyond. 
"Like I lost a brother"

How would you feel, Vevay? If that had been Newlyn, how would you feel? It hit 
her like a ton of bricks but she kept her composure and continued. "We are 
aware of the events leading up to his death from reports submitted but we need 
a more intimate description of said events immediately prior to and post his 
demise. Would you be willing to describe them to us and the emotional 
conditions of those around you at the time?"

Ffej stood and walked over to the window, voice dripping with sarcasim. "You 
mean besides the obvious... fear, anger, and the empty hole that spanned each 
of us when we knew he was gone from us forever?" He gripped the rim around the 
window, knuckles white from the intensity. Moments passed before his hands 
relaxed. He turned back to face her, gazing through her, no louder than a 
whisper. "What do you care what happened to me."

Her voice caught in her throat before she could answer. Everything in her 
wanted to run to him, hold him and make it all better like he had for her the 
night before. Almost everything. A small spark of professionalism kept her 
rooted to the spot and she answered. "We are here to discover the facts, 
Ensign, not give emotional support to a group of people who should be trained 
to deal with their pain in a professional manner. You were trained, were you 
not?" Her insides screamed, tore her apart, ripped her in two but she still 
just stood there and awaited his reply.

He crossed his arms, his right hand twitched and rubbed his chest softly. An 
edge so icy it could freeze the blood just from hearing it. "No amount of 
training prepared the team for my demise. Yes they finished the mission. Yes 
they dealt with what came next. Yes they each mourned the loss. It's through 
the lack of what did you call it, Emotional Support? You speak of wanting Facts 
and yet you tear into freshly healed wounds. Seems to me like you're the ones 
that still need training, you cold heartless..." His voice trailed off leaving 
the rest unspoken.

"My demise? Yeoman? Am I speaking to Yeoman John Forester?" Okay, no one had 
said anything about this. She had a sneaking suspision that Alexander knew but 
he had conveniently failed to inform her of this little development. And ew! 
she'd been kissing two people at once.

"What? what do you want? I've made my peace..." His eyes fully glazed over, 
unfocused, but he stared through her, exposing her soul, stripping away 
everything that protected her. "Why are you doing this..."

"Because it's my job," she whispered with a little grief. Loudly, she said, "I 
have my orders. Yeoman, could you please describe your relationship with 
Captain Ketchum?"

"Captain Ketchum?" He smirked, "He was my captain, I was his crewman. He...he 
was" His voice trailed to a whisper. Ffej's eyes drifted closed as a single 
tear inched down his cheek. "He was my father...but he didn't know I knew. I 
wanted to prove I could be my own man. Not use his name or our bond of blood to 
gain advancements I hadn't earned honestly." He spun away from her and faced 
out the window, buring his face with his hands.

"Did you love him? Respect him? How did you feel about him when you found out?"

Ffej slowly turned back and faced Vevay, eyes focused with an intensity. The 
unexpected impact of her rollercoaster emotions made him stagger back a step. 
The confusion, the revulsion, the spanning gap from duty and compassion. He 
lowered his head and sighed, "John surfaced again didn't he..." His shoulders 
slumped. "Could you repeat the question?" He sounded defeated and drained.

Her eyes misted with tears she couldn't cry. She still had her back to 
Alexander so that he couldn't see her face but she couldn't let them fall. "My 
question was for Yeoman Forester. Since he has left us, I will ask you a 
different one. How does it feel when he surfaces?"

Slowly, Ffej lifted his head and met her gaze. The rim of moisture that barely 
sparkled in the lighting sparked a desire to rush forward and hold her, comfort 
her. His foot slid toward her, when the tiniest widening of her eyes halted him 
and warned him not to approach. He changed his direction and headed to the 
replicator. "Feel? I feel everything he does. Anger, sadness, all emotions 
within the scope of humanity bundled into the instance he rises within me. You 
should understand how that feels... having everything well up and surge in an 
instant. The purity of release and the emptyness of suppression." He tapped a 
few keys and picked up the glass of water that materialized, taking a long slow 
drink. He turned back to her, "I'm fully aware of his actions as he does them, 
but those surges overwhelm my own senses for a few seconds, during the coming 
and going of his essence."

"And how does it feel to carry a separate consciousness around inside you?" She 
wanted this to finish right now, wanted Alexander to go away. More than 
anything she wanted to throw her resignation at the JAG, but she knew she'd 
never do that. "Please excuse the seeming ignorance of my question."

He smirked at that last comment. "Forgiven, its not something I share openly. 
Only those of the team witnessed the emergance, though I'm sure the Captain is 
aware. I wouldn't put it past my Chief to even have me on watch in case he 
becomes a threat to my own health." His chest rose and fell with a slow, deep 
breath. "I feel no differant anyone would, at least anyone who had intimate 
knowledge of another. Read someones journal, or private logs, truly know their 
deepest desires and a hint of their inner workings, you might begin to grasp 
what I feel. Until now he only surfaced to make peace and say good bye to those 
he cared about deeply, as if settling a debt of honor..."

Nodding, she glanced over at Alexander. "Do we have any more questions for 
Ensgin Harak?"

"Only one." Alexander looked over at the young Ensign. "How do you get him to 
surface?"

He laughed out right at the question. "How? Might as well ask 'Why does the sun 
rise?' 'Why does the universe exist as it does?' How indeed." Ffej grew somber 
after that outburst. "I don't draw him to the surface..." He stared pointedly 
at Alexander, never blinking. "You do."

Shivering slighty, Alexander nodded. "Thank you, Ensign. That is all for today 
I think. We will contact you again if we need to check over more facts. Vevay?"

"I wish to have a word with the Ensign in private, if I may sir?" With 
Alexander's nod, she turned back to Ffej. Waiting for the sound of the door to 
close, she couldn't hold the tears any more. "I'm sorry. So very sorry."

He met her gaze evenly. "There anything else you forget to tell me? Or are you 
still ordered to deceive the crew?" He closed his eyes, forced control of his 
voice before it cracked. "I cared about you. I can understand duty, following 
orders, but damnit Vevay. Could you not have said something! At least I figured 
out who the roses came from... and now I understand why it was even possible."

"You cared?" she said, emphasising the past-tense on the word. A gaping hole 
opened up inside her as she realised the full impact of everything she'd lost. 
"We weren't suppose to advertise our presence on the ship. That's why I lied in 
the first place. Then it just got worse and worse until Alexander told me I was 
to be point today. I didn't mean it to get this bad." Her cheeks were wet and 
she could feel the tears soaking into the collar of her uniform. "It was not my 
intention to hurt you."

He swollowed past the lump growing in his throat. "Just tell me one thing, the 
truth... How much was an act? How much of the you I got to know and loved being 
with was all contrived to get close? To get...to get inside and get the answers 
you needed? I would have told you anything you wanted. If you had only been 
honest with me..." His knees gave out and he collapsed to the floor, dropping 
his glass, spilling the little that remained. His body racked with barely 
supressed sobs. "Did you even truly care?"

She wanted to run to him, take him in her arms and soothe it all away but she 
feared what he would do to her if she did. You have every right to, she 
thought. "I never lied about that. Not once. Everything I felt, everything I 
said, everything I did, was true. I would never take advantage of you just to 
get information, that isn't how I work." She turned away to start pacing. With 
bitterness, she said, "Alexander tries to shape me in his image, to be a 
ruthless, heartless lawyer. I don't think I can do it any more. I liked being 
in Security. I liked the clean honesty of criminal investigations. Not this 
crap."

Slowly, he raised his head and watched her pace. "How can we put this behind 
us, we can't just pick up where we left off. Those images are shattered, the 
pieces too numerous to count." He stood and carefully approached her, watching 
for any clue that she didn't want him too close. "I don't want to lose you."

"Behind us? You really think we can?" she said, looking up at him. Hit me! she 
screamed inside. Get it done, finish it, don't be so damn sweet, just hurt me 
the way I've hurt you. I deserve it this time. The last thought echoed around 
her head and she feared she might have let him see it.

He staggered and flinched at the raw anguish she felt. "No! I refuse to let you 
punish yourself like that." Taking her into his arms, crushing her to his 
chest, feeling her warm, tear soaked cheeks, he said, "No one ever deserves 
it..."

"I do," she said as her sobs finally surfaced and tore at her. "I hurt you so 
much." She clung to him again, much as she had the night before. "Why would you 
ever want to forgive me?"

With her barriers down, Ffej was easily able to bridge their minds again. "For 
that you can blame my father..."

~A young boy resting upon his fathers lap, laughing at the silly faces he made. 
A woman's voice calls them to dinner. The man lifts the boy and carries him 
through the house. He stops as he sees his wife working at setting up the 
table. A smile engulfs his face, slowly he turns to meet the eyes of the child. 
"My son, some day you'll find love. Cherish it with faith and fight to keep it 
alive. The moment you accept that it's gone, it never was." Gently, he lowered 
the boy as they crossed the threshold. Slipping up behind the woman, he takes 
her into his arms and dips her low, before kissing her with passion born from 
years of adoration.~

Grief at the image of something she'd never had made her hesitate. How do I do 
this? Aloud she admitted, "I don't know how to do this."

Stepping back from her, he lifted her chin with a finger, meeting her gaze. 
With his other hand, he rested it upon her breast. "Follow your heart."

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