<USS Avalon> Clearing His Mind

Clearing His Mind
by Captain Keith Ketchum and Senior Lieutenant Caine Reilly McKinsely

He walked off the bridge, his mind racing.  He wasn't sure where he was 
going, or what he was doing.    He just walked out of the lift when it opened.  
He 
was sure that the people waiting said something to him, but he never answered. 

Walked along, he stopped in front of a door and looked at it.  Reading the 
sign, he comprehended the location.   Deck 5.  He leaned over an pressed the 
chime to her office. 

It was the first day in a few weeks that Caine was in the office alone, 
having sent Garrett on an errand for her.  So when she heard the chime over her 
soft playing violin music, Caine gave a small jump of surprise before calling 
out 
and welcoming her visitor into her office. 

The door slid open and he walked in, "I hope I'm not disturbing you Ms. 
McKinsely, but I need to talk to someone."  He felt calmed by the violin music 
already.

Standing, Caine placed the PADD she was reading down on her desk and moved to 
greet Captain Ketchum.  "Of course not Captain," Caine said with a smile on 
her face.  "My door is always opened to you, please come in, have a seat." 

He nodded, "Thank you.  Just that today I have done things that are not 
myself."  Taking a deep breath, "And I needed someone to talk to about them."

"I can understand that sir," Caine said, moving to sit in one of the 
comfortable chairs she had placed in the office.  "Everybody needs somebody to 
just 
talk to sometimes, especially when they feel like they aren't being 
themselves." 

"As you probably heard, during the red-alert we were in a fire-fight with a 
couple of Ferengi Marauders.  I had to send a small team to one of them to get 
something that we were asked to retrieve.  Anyway.  The team returned with the 
item, but one was dead and the other seriously wounded.  Upon finding that 
information out, I ordered the destruction of one of the ships, out of spite.  
We could have left the scene quickly, but I wanted them to pay."  He rubbed his 
eyes with the palms of his hands.

Caine could understand some of the pain that Captain Ketchum was feeling.  He 
had chosen to destroy a ship that had people on it, granted they were they 
probably weren't the best people, but they were still living beings.  This 
definitely didn't sound like a decision the Ketchum she knew would have made.  
"It 
sounds like this is really bothering you," she said, slowly easing into her 
counselor mode. 

"It is.  I don't know if it was the stress of battle, as it's been a long 
time since I have commanded in battle like that.  Or the loss of the crewmen.  
My 
mind is all a quandry, and I'm not sure I like how I feel right now."  He 
looked into Caine's eyes.  "Am I a bad person for what I did?"

Meeting her captain's eyes she shook her head slowly, seriousness etching her 
voice as she began to speak.  "You're only a bad person if you let yourself 
believe you are.  The stress from commanding a battle is great, especially when 
it's been a long time since you've done it and many men have, just you like, 
done things in the heat of battle that they regret, it comes with the 
territory of commanding in a battle situation.  But you can't let this eat you 
up 
though sir.  You made a choice and now you must move past that look to the 
future, 
you have an amazing crew here that love you and would give their lives for 
you and this ship, in fact one did, you are a great leader and I know that I 
myself would not be following you if you were a bad person."  Caine said 
finishing with a smile for Captain Ketchum, hoping he would find what she said 
encouraging. 

His mind began to clear.  "You are right, Ms. McKinsely, I feel a tad better 
already."  

"Captain, we're approaching the coordinates. I'm dropping us out of warp."

"On my way, Mr. Manson."  He turned to Caine.  "Thank you for your time.  I'm 
sure we'll talk more."

"Anytime Captain, I always enjoy getting the chance to spend time with you," 
Caine said with a smile as she stood to see him out.  "In fact, if you have 
any free time later, why don't we get together for dinner, I'm sure you could 
use a break from the bridge for a bit this evening."

"I shall think about that."  He turned to the door and headed back to the 
bridge, nodding to people as he went, a little more back into character.

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