<USS Avalon> "Beginnings"
- From: CmdrSkyler@xxxxxxx
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 16 Apr 2005 20:26:18 EDT
"Beginnings"
Cmdr Skyler & Sr. Lt. Melanie Redgrave
Skyler had managed to escape the confines of sickbay against the protests of
Georgia and several different medical personnel. If she had to spend another
minute there she would go crazier than people thought she already was. She
needed to be in her quarters where she could think and perhaps come up with a
way to avoid the so called psych evaluation that she had been threatened with.
She wasn't crazy, suicidal or nuts, it was just a matter of convincing
others of that, including her sister. Now that was a topic that had been
avoided
for sometime, why she wasn't sure. Maybe now was the time to face it. Only
time would tell. She made it to her quarters and changed into her favorite
pair
of academy sweats and made herself a glass of Diet Pepsi and then sat in her
favorite chair and closed her eyes. This is what she needed, the peace and
quiet of her own quarters.
It shouldn't have surprised Melanie that Skyler wasn't in sick bay, but it
had. As she walked down the hall towards the turbo lift that would take her to
Skyler's deck, it dawned on her that they maybe have proved they were sisters
but they really didn't know each other as people. Perhaps now was as good a
time as any to remedy that.
She hopped onto the turbo lift and called out for Skyler's deck before
reaching up and pressing the comm badge that just seemed to look so out of
place
on her best Scottish wool sweater. "Redgrave to Skyler. Are you still up?"
Out of no where a voice broke the silence and startled Skyler. "Skyler to
Redgrave. I'm up now," It would appear that the time to face the long lost
sister was soon to become a reality, which was just as well. Skyler was sure
that
Melanie would have a few words to say about what had been going on over the
past few days, so there was no point in putting it off any longer.
Melanie stood outside Skyler's door a few moments. She wanted to get her
thoughts together. There was just so much to talk about that she didn't have
the
foggiest idea where to start. Finally, after taking a deep breath, she
pressed the chime.
Hearing the chime Skyler hesitated just for a moment and the replied,
"Enter." With that the doors opened and allowed Melanie to enter at her own
will.
"Well, just don't stand out there, come on in. I wondered how long it was
going to take before you made an appearance. Have a seat." Skyler watched as
Melanie walked in. She took in every little movement to see if there was any
sign
of their mother or father. Something, anything that she should have
remembered.
"How are you feeling?" Melanie asked as she sat on the couch across from the
chair Skyler was in. "Georgia said you'd checked yourself out AMA. She's
still really worried about you and to be honest, so am I."
"I am fine. A little stiff but that will go away in time. Georgia worries
too much. I had to get out of there before I went nuttier than everyone thinks
I
already am. I am sorry if I worried you or anyone else, That was not my
intention. So what brings you here at this hour?"
Melanie tried to relax as much as she could muster. She wanted to build some
kind of ease between them. "It's slowly dawned on me over the past few days
that yes I've found my biological sister, but I don't know her."
Looking at the young woman across from her Skyler could see her mother's
eyes. "There is that, we may be related biologically but we really don't know
each other. We were raised in two totally different atmosphere's or lifestyles
if you prefer. I guess we have a lot of catching up to do. What would you like
to know?"
"Everything," Melanie said honestly. "But lets start with what went on on
the holodeck. Georgia told me you'd done it before."
Skyler took a sip of her drink and looked at the floor before speaking. "Can
I get you something to drink? Some tea perhaps?" She was trying to stall as
long as she could, simply because she wasn't sure how to explain why she had
done what she had done.
"Tea would be nice, thank you." She knew Skyler needed a few moments to
collect her thoughts. It wasn't after all as if she'd simply asked what her
favorite color was or if she'd had a dog growing up.
Trying not to look to stiff or jerky in her movements, Skyler got Melanie a
glass of tea and handed it to her and then sat back down in her chair. "You go
right to the hard core stuff don't you? No pussy footing around a subject
with you is there?"
Melanie grinned as she sipped the tea. "It's why I do what I do. The only
time I don't get right to it is when I'm afraid of what the answer will be."
"No, I'm not. My concern for you is greater then any fear I have about
asking you point blank questions." Melanie took another sip from her tea and
leaned back into the couch. "The worse you could do is tell me to go to hell
and
kick me out of your quarters. Of course that doesn't mean I'll leave, just ask
Elissabeth. I will however tell you what is on my mind and then go and tell
Georgia you were mean to me." Melanie smirked towards the end of her comment.
"And telling Georgia I am being mean to you is supposed to do what, scare
me? She knows better than that, but nice try. Defiantly something a bratty
little sister would try and pull. So, what is it you want to know again?"
"Why you pulled that bullocks of a stunt on the holodeck." Melanie repeated.
"And you might not know what Georgia would do. You've never picked on her
little Sunni before."
"First of all, I didn't pull a bullock stunt, I was running a holodeck
program, which if I am to understand correctly a certain someone interfered
with
by changing said program. I was simply using an old training program to burn up
some pent up energy. I don't see the harm in that."
"That's total rubbish and you and I both know it." Melanie scolded. "If it
were a mere program to burn up pent up energy you wouldn't have removed the
safeties. And your damn bloody right I messed with your silly program. I just
got you back and I'll be damned if your own foolishness takes you away from me
again."
Skyler stared at the floor again. She hated being yelled at by anyone, let
alone someone who was supposed to family. How was she supposed to make this
person understand why she did what she did? They were two totally different
people from two totally different backgrounds. She would never understand.
"It's
complicated and I am not sure you would understand or that I could explain it
so that you would understand it. Can't you just accept that I am not crazy
and I had my reasons?"
Melanie sighed as she leaned forward a little. She rested her forearms on
her thighs and picked at the hem of her skirt, as she looked at the woman
across
from her. "Do you really think the fact that we didn't grow up together
means I couldn't at least try to understand why you reacted the way you did?"
"You really want to know? You're not going to sit there in judgment of me
because of what I did or why I did it? I have to know that first. I have to
know
that no matter what you are going to accept me as I am, flaws and all."
"We all have flaws, Skyler. I'm not here to change you, I'm here to get to
know you." Melanie said softly. "Though I might not like what you do, that
doesn't mean I'm judging you, Skyler."
"I hope not because other than Georgia, you are the only family I have and
even though we have only recently met, I would hate to lose you over something
I did. As for why I was in the holodeck running a program with the safeties
off that is a little harder to explain. I suppose it all stems back from
several mission's ago and things just started building until I finally reached
the
breaking point. Actually the breaking point you already know about, since
you have apparently talked to Elissabeth. I betrayed a close friend and hurt
her deeply. Someone I cared about a great deal and I couldn't take that
anymore. It was easier for me to shut down emotionally and accept the physical
pain
than it was to risk hurting anyone close to me again. I only needed to feel
the physical pain to know I was still alive. As long as felt that, I knew I
couldn't hurt anyone I cared about. It didn't matter what happened to me. I
know that doesn't make sense and sounds stupid but there it is in a nutshell.
That is what you have for a sister."
"It's not a healthy way of dealing with things but I understand why you did
it. I guess understanding and dealing with physical pain is easier then
understanding and dealing with emotional pain." For a moment Melanie wondered
where her sister had picked up that particular trait. "You can fix a broken
bone
easier then a broken friendship. But some pain has to be expected in any kind
of relationship, Skyler. No one's perfect, everyone has flaws, everyone makes
mistakes."
She took that better than Skyler thought she would. "I never said I dealt
with things the easiest or correct way. I deal with them the only way I know
how. In case you hadn't noticed I don't make friends easily and when I do, I
try
not to screw things up. Unfortunately I let other things get in the way and
screwed things up royally. That's just the way I am. I'm sure it's not what
you expected but then I don't know what you expected to find. You were correct
when Georgia said I had done this once before, however that was a long time
ago. I thought I was over it but apparently not. So what else would you like
to know?"
"I wasn't expecting anything really. I just knew I felt something missing in
my life despite the fact that my Mum and Dad were really great to me."
Melanie sat her empty cup on the coffee table before her as she thought about
what
to ask next. She could ask about what it was that had made Skyler do this
twenty years ago, but she didn't wanna push all at once. She could ask about
Skyler's childhood, what made her join Star Fleet, but nothing that simple came
out of her mouth. "Do you blame me for what happened to Celeste?â
Skyler looked at Melanie and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She
hadn't seen that one coming although she figured it would come eventually. "No,
I don't blame you for what happened to Celeste. If anything I blame myself.
I should have done something to make sure that you and her left as well.
Instead I went with Georgia as I was told to. I should've stayed, perhaps I
could've made some kind of difference. Maybe she would still be alive. I
would've
given my life to keep you both alive. So no I don't blame you for anything."
Melanie smiled just a little in relief. "I don't think any thing we could
have done would have changed what happened." Melanie paused a moment before
asking, "What was she like?"
"She was a lot like you in some ways. She always had a twinkle in her eyes,
she always had a smile or a laugh. She would laugh at the dumbest jokes, she
could make anything you did fun. She was smart, beautiful, she didn't mind
playing in the dirt or getting dirty. She always put everyone else first. She
loved you a great deal. You were her sunshine, the light of her eyes. You made
her very happy." A small tear was starting to form in the corner of Skyler's
eye, but she quickly wiped it away.
Something from the old home movies came back to Melanie. "Her sun and sky."
She said softly. "I wish I remembered her."
"I think you remember her more than you think. The more you watch the
holo-vids and listen to her voice the more you will remember. It's in your
head,
you just have to give it a chance. I never had the holo-vids or images like you
do. I am so sorry that I put you through the whole mess of not remembering
you. I didn't mean to hurt you. See without even trying I hurt someone who was
close to me. I'm not saying my life was bad. Georgia did her best raising me
as did Henry, but I was still alone. You were at least adopted and had a real
set of parents who loved you and cared for you. I know Georgia and Henry
loved and cared for me, but it just isn't the same. Does that make sense?"
"Not really. Georgia and Henry were just as much parents to you as my
adopted parents were to me." Melanie shrugged. "Maybe it's different because I
didn't know I was adopted until I was an adult. Georgia loves you with
everything
in her, Skyler."
"I know she does and I feel the same way about her, but I didn't call her
Mom or Henry Dad like you. So at times I felt all alone. I wouldn't trade them
for anything but sometimes I wonder how things could've been if the raid had
never happened. Would our lives be the same as they are now or would things
have turned out differently? Do you ever wonder about things like that?"
Melanie thought about it a moment and then nodded slowly. "Sometimes, but I
try not to too often. I don't know if I could give up what I have now in order
to change what I would have had then."
Skyler got up and walked to her window and looked at the stars and the
different changes in space as ships came and went. "I suppose you are right. So
what else do you want to know?"
Melanie smiled as she sat back again. Things had gotten heavy right off the
bat and it was draining both of them. "Who's pecan pies are they really?"
Skyler turned around and looked at Melanie and started laughing. "Oh no you
don't. You aren't pulling me into the middle of that little battle. That is
between Eliza Mae and Georgia. I learned along time ago not to interfere
between those two. It's a lot safer and you tend to live longer."
"It was worth a try." Melanie replied laughing. "You look tired, Skyler. I
should go and let you get come sleep before Georgia comes down to check on you.
What do you say the three of us get together and have dinner? Make it a
family thing."
"I am getting a little tired but you don't have to go. Is there a rule that
says a sister can't spend the night with another one? There is plenty of room
and it would be nice for a change, don't you think? We can still do dinner
but there is no reason for you to leave unless you have to."
Melanie couldn't help but smile at the offer. "I'll need to send a message
to Eli telling him I won't be home tonight."
Skyler's eyes perked up at the mention of someone named Eli. "You do that
and then you can tell me all about this Eli."
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