<USS Avalon> "Always"

"Always."
Melanie Redgrave and Celeste (As played beautifully by Debs)

As the sun began to sink lower in the sky, the air around her started to become 
a little chilly. Melanie wrapped her arms around herself as she walked down the 
small path that Skyler had taken a hour before. Georgia said that the family 
cemetery was down this way and that Skyler must have gone to see our parents. 
Even in it's current state, the estate was amazing. The grounds, the house, it 
was just as lush and wonderful as the Redgrave estate in Bath. 

The small cemetery looked more like a lush jungle garden then a cemetery. 
Melanie wander around looking at all the different markers as she made her way 
to her parents'. These are my ancestors. The blood lines that my child will 
carry on. Finally, Melanie found herself standing in front of two headstones 
with white roses resting on each. The large tree that grew next to a stone 
bench blocked out most of what was left of the sun, making it even more chilly. 
Melanie shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself a little more. 

She use to go to her father's grave at least once a month when she lived on 
Earth. She'd sit there for hours talking to him, but somehow this was 
different. Melanie moved closer to the headstone that had her mother's name on 
it, kneeling down she ran her fingers alone the craved letters of her name. 
"I'm so sorry, Mother." 

The wind blew through the leaves of the tree behind her and Melanie closed her 
eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek. 

The wind gently caressed her cheek, like a velvet hand, wiping the tear as a 
voice whispered through the trees. "Whatever for, beloved? You've nothing to be 
sorry for."

Because it's my fault. She thought before her head jerked up. She could have 
sworn someone had touched her cheek, her own hand rested there now, and that 
someone had just spoken to her. Do pregnant woman hallucinate? "Hello?" She 
called out as she looked around. 

"Oh, what nonsense is that," the voice asked, sounding almost as though it were 
smiling in spite of the question. The leaves to Melanie's left rustled as 
though being gently trod upon, and she could almost sense someone sitting next 
to her. "your fault indeed...."

Melanie looked to her left and nearly fell over. She blinked and then rubbed 
her eyes. For a moment she thought she'd seen a woman sitting on the bench 
behind her. She'd had long dark hair with loose bouncing waves that flowed over 
her back and shoulders. Her eyes were dark but sparkled in a familiar kind of 
way. Her smile was warm and comforting and for a moment, Melanie thought she'd 
known it; known the woman. "Ok for get hallucinations, do pregnant woman lose 
their minds?" Melanie paused as she shook her head and turned back to her 
mother's marker. "Or maybe it's just being here. Maybe Sky's right about it 
making you crazy."

The woman laughed. "You're not crazy, my dear. Not at all. You're just finally 
willing to hear." she looked at her gently. "I've tried so hard, for so very 
long to speak to you. To tell you how very dear you are to me and how proud I 
am of the woman you've grown into." She stroked her cheek again. "Such a 
beautiful woman you've become."

This time the woman was right next to her and Melanie scampered back on 
instinct, falling very ungracefully onto her ass. "Oh bloody hell." She 
muttered before looking at the woman again. It took a moment but the face and 
softly accented voice clicked. "This is imposable." The scientist in her was 
telling her it was all in her head, but her heart was trying to make her reach 
out and hold on. "Do.. Do I know you? You.. You look like my.."

"You do remember me..." the voice sounded pleased, the smile widening. "That's 
right, love. You can say it...I look like...." she nodded to her, prompting her 
to go ahead and say it.

Tears welled in Melanie's eyes. I'm dreaming again. "My.. My Mother." She said 
softly and then shook her head. "My birth mother, I mean. But she's.. Your... 
It's the hormones.. Definitely the hormones."

"Alright," the woman answered in gentle tones, putting an arm around her. 
"Let's assume for the sake of argument it is. Even so, you clearly have things 
you need to resolve with me. Things you need to say and have said to you in 
return. So...what harm in continuing either way?"

Melanie stiffened for only an instant when the woman touched her, but something 
soon felt right somehow and it made Melanie cry a little more. "I've missed you 
for so long, even before I knew there was a you."

Celeste gently smoothed her hair, holding her in a comforting embrace. "I know, 
darling, but I've always been there. I'm here now. I would never leave you."

"But you did." She said in a whisper. 

"In body only, my love. Never in spirit." Celeste held her tighter, kissing the 
top of her head and repeated, "never ever in spirit."

Melanie leaned into her mother's embrace. Has she always smelled of vanilla and 
spiced tea? "But I didn't even know about you. They never told me. They never 
told me you were my mother and that you.. that you were.. It was my fault."

"No love," Celeste answered quietly. "It was not your fault. Not any of it. Now 
no more such nonsense." She kissed her again gently on the forehead. "I'm sure 
they believed they were doing what was best for you, as all good parents do. As 
you yourself will do for yours soon enough."

"I'm afraid, Mother."

"What do you fear, beloved?" Celeste asked, still holding her close.

Melanie placed her hand over her stomach as she looked at the woman beside her. 
"Of how things can go so wrong so fast. How we have no control over what 
happens to us or to them. I don't know how to me someone's mother. What if 
something happens to her? Or to me?"

"Things happen, beloved. We do what we can to plan for what we can, and to 
manage the rest. If things happen beyond the scope of our 
abilities....well...that's what you have family for, beloved. Skyler, and 
Georgia. And Eli." Celeste smiled. "I'm so glad my girls have found each other 
at last."

"It took us awhile." Melanie replied softly. "I think she expects it all to 
crumble at her feet. She's scared of losing me again, to Eli, to this baby, to 
my Mum. She hates it that I was calling you by name." 

Celeste nodded. "It's hard for her, beloved. She's already lost it all once. 
Seen it all crumble. When you've felt that devastation once, you fear it. She's 
afraid with all that is moving forward in your life, you'll leave her behind. 
It happened once already. Your life continued without her. You have a family 
and a future, where she feels...maybe a little lost and afraid...desperately 
afraid of losing you again...of being pushed aside and left alone." 

Melanie sighed. "I wish you where still with us so she wouldn't feel that way. 
I wish you were here for me and to be here for my baby."

"So do I," Celeste admitted, the sorrow clear in her voice. "I'm here as much 
as I can be, but the rest falls to the two of you. Don't you understand? It 
falls to you to do all you would have me do. That's what I've come to tell you. 
I never left you, my beloved Soleil. I am still here. I live in you."

"I don't know why I think this baby is a girl, Mother, but I hope she's like 
you." Melanie smiled as fresh tears streaked her face. "I wasn't even old 
enough to tell you I loved you."

"And yet I've never doubted it, my dear." She gently wiped her daughters tears 
as she reassured her. "I know. I've always known."

She wasn't sure why, but suddenly everything seemed better somehow. There was 
no longer this blurred image of Melanie and Soleil as two different people. She 
didn't have to be Melanie for one set of people while trying to be who Soleil 
should have been. Melanie leaned into her mother and closed her eyes. She never 
wanted to forget how it felt to be held by her, to talk to her, to know she was 
there for her. In that moment something else became clear to her. "I've always 
know too, Mother."

A peacefulness fell over the two women, and Melanie felt as if she could fall 
asleep wrapped in her mother's arms, but something pulled her away from that. 

"Miss Melanie!" 

Melanie smiled. "It's Georgia, Mother! She'll be so thrilled to see you!" 
Melanie got to her feet quickly and called out. "Over here!" 

The wind once again blew through the trees and across Melanie's cheek only this 
time it felt like a kiss. Then she heard her mother's voice whisper in her ear 
through the wind, "Always remember."

Fear gripped Melanie's chest as she turned around. Sure enough, her mother was 
gone. Closing her eyes, Melanie forced the tears welling there to fall. "I will 
Mother, I promise."

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