<USS Avalon> "Alone in the Dark - Love"
- From: Elizabeth Bethell <ejbethell@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 4 Jul 2005 14:46:06 +0100
Alone in the Dark - Love
*by Lt. Sussanna Jameson*
Hours she'd sat there, curled in a ball, her woolen blacket tight around
her. She listened to the engines hum, their music lulling her finally to
sleep.
Anna glared at the mirror, her own smiling face impishly grinned back.
"But you're happy with him," it said. "Just be happy and everything will be
alright."
"No, it won't!"
She span away to wander in the darkness. No lights shone, nothing to guide
her steps. Echoes of laughter, her own, Mac's, Lissi's, Simon's,
reverberated around the muggy black. Her foot snagged on something and she
fell. When she felt around to see what it was, what she found was too
familiar.
"Lights," a strange voice barked.
Suddenly the world was flood by a light that burned her eyes. Screwing them
up, she sat back until she could peek out again. The thing that had tripped
her was as she feared: a body. Lifeless hazel eyes stared out of a gaunt
face that was lightly tinged with blue. Reaching forward, she brushed a
strand of blonde hair off of Mac's face. A small, helpless choke caught in
her throat and she shrank away.
"You love him, don't you?" said the voice from before. A slender, older
woman knelt down beside her, her long brown hair pulled into a tight
pony-tail.
Anna had seen someone similar to this woman around the ship; someone
younger, fresher faced, more innocent maybe. With a simple nod, she pulled
her knees up under her chin and stared at his body.
"Love is just about the most painful thing in the universe," the woman said.
"It eats you up inside, takes everything you have to give and then leaves
you hollow and empty when it's gone."
"I know," Anna whispered, a bitter tear rolling hot down her cheek. "Why do
we do it then?"
"Now that," said the woman, flopping down next to her, "is a very good
question. It's one I've thought about a whole lot and I've come to the
conclusion that we fall in love because for those short months or years, the
joy of it is worth the pain of everything else."
"What if he doesn't feel the same?" Anna's voice was getting smaller as she
curled herself into a tighter ball.
"All love is unrequited, Sussanna." The woman reached over and tilted Anna's
face to look into her warm green eyes. The remnants of old laughter lines
etched her face. "He feels as he feels. If he tells you that he loves you
then it is your choice to believe him or not. But in the end, you are human
as am I, that means that there's no diffinitive way to tell. We will always
be unsure."
"Then there is no way to fix this."
A light chuckle echoed around the wasteland. "Just trust him. Be happy and
everything will be alright."
"No, it won't." Pushing to her feet, Anna began to march away. "No hugs, no
kisses, no making things better. It ends here."
As she hiked away, she felt the woman's eyes on her back but refused to turn
around. Sighing, Captain Vevay Harak pulled herself up. She reached down to
close Mac's eyes before turning to walk away.
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