<USS Avalon> Afterthoughts

Josh left Elissabeth's office confused. Why had he shown her that?
 
Because he could. Because she should know. Because he had no reason left not to.
 
He wanted to go back to work. He wanted to go home. To shower. To fight. To 
scream.
 
To die. To go wherever Zachary was. To let it all be over.
 
He entered the turbolift and gave it directions twice.
 
Did it ever hear him the first time? 
 
Halfway there, he paused the lift.
 
Why not? He really had nowhere to go.
 
He went to holodeck two instead. He turned on his program. He turned off the 
safeties.
 
He entered the home he'd been raised in without weapons or reason or any real 
desire to come out again. 
 
He ran. He hid. He fought. He killed. 
 
He bled and died a little more inside.
 
He didn't find what he was looking for.
 
Zachary wasn't there.
 
He returned to his quarters to shower and change.
 
He was still alone.

                
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