<USS Avalon> "After Hours" Cmdr Skyler & Patience Merritt - Ketchum

"After Hours"
Cmdr Skyler & Patience Merritt - Ketchum
 
 
 
 
For some unknown reason fear was engulfing Skyler, so much so that it was  
interrupting her sleep. She would wake up in a cold sweat after having tossed  
and turned the majority of the night. Each night the fear was there and it  
seemed to be growing. She had some idea of what was causing her fears and the  
dreams. Thinking to herself, perhaps it is time to pay the counselor another  
visit.
 
Patience had gotten behind on a great deal of her paperwork from playing  
with Gretchen over half the day.  An hour's baby-sitting had turned into  four. 
 
Not that she minded, but it had set her work day a little bit  behind.  That's 
why she was still sitting in her office that evening when  the commander rang 
the chime.
 
She looked up and smiled as the door opened.  "Skyler!  How  wonderful to see 
you again.  Is it Tuesday already?" She winked to let the  woman know she was 
teasing.
 
"I'm sorry about the lateness of the hour and I hope I haven't interrupted  
anything? If so I can always come back tomorrow or at another time." After all  
what was one more night of restless sleep.
 
"I realize that this is not one of our scheduled times but I felt the need  
to talk to someone and talking to myself was getting me no where." Skyler was  
antsy, not because of visiting the Counselor but because of everything with 
her  sister and her growing fear.
 
"It's fine, just fine.  Come in.  I'm always available for you to  speak with 
any time and I'm so pleased you know that.  Sit, sit, let me get  us some 
tea."  Moving over to the replicator, Pacey grabbed two mugs of  Chamomile and 
honey.  "To tell you the truth I was glad for the  break.  This captain of 
ours," she shook her head with an impish smile, "he  actually makes me do 
paperwork."
 
Sitting down Skyler wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say or do.  She 
knew she couldn't make Melanie understand how she felt, how in the world was  
she supposed to make a stranger understand?
 
"He does have a tendency to do that to people...paper work I mean. Not that  
I have anything against him, it's as you say the paperwork. Although having 
you  aboard must make life easier for him, which is a good thing." She was 
rambling  and she knew it. She just didn't know what was real anymore. Until 
this 
last  mission there hadn't been a Mrs. Ketchum or had there....or is it all my 
messed  up brain? She didn't know if it was her fear of another wormhole and 
another  timeline possibility that causing her anxiety but she was ready to 
jump out of  her skin.
 
Patience nodded slowly, listening.  "You're looking very tense,  Skyler.  Is 
Keith not giving you enough holodeck time?"  She smiled  hoping to put the 
woman at ease as Skyler seemed like an overwound antique  watch about ready to 
burst from its casing.
 
"Tense is not the word for it. Frighten, confused, scared, just about cover  
it all. I don't like this new mission and the possible ramifications, having  
already been through it once already." Skyler just sat there nervously tapping 
 her leg ready to jump at the slightest sound.
 
"Alright, my friend, first we're going to have to get you calmed down a  bit. 
 You look like a fox being chased by the hounds."  Patience  dimmed the 
lights in the room and moved around slowly lighting candles while  instructing 
the 
computer to fill the room with the sound of gentle rain.   "There, that's 
better," she said, crossing back to Skyler.  "You're more  than welcome to 
recline 
back a bit and take a few deep breaths if you  like.  I think I'm going to.  
It's been a long day.  And then  when we're both feeling a little more calm, 
we'll talk about all these  things eating you up inside, okay?"
 
Not quite sure what to do Skyler took the advice given and reclined back  
while taking a few deep breaths. It didn't exactly calm her as much as she had  
hoped but perhaps it would at least help to talk. At least dimming the lights  
had help her to avoid direct eye contact.
 
"I'm not sure where to start or what to say. There is so much rambling  
around in my head that I swear I wish I was a Vulcan and could at least attempt 
 to 
control this emotional crap. The beginning, the middle and the end are all  
good places to start, even the places in between all of those. I just wish I  
knew for sure what was real and what wasn't and that I could change this 
mission  we are on."
 
Skyler only stopped rambling, long enough to take a few breaths and to try  
to put her thoughts and fears into words. This would be so much easier if  you 
could get inside my head and just see for yourself what was/is going  on.
 
"Are you saying that you're experiencing premonitions about the upcoming  
mission?"
 
"I'm not calling them premonitions, more like déjà vu. It seems that after  
talking with my sister, we both had dreams that were very similar, dreams in  
which things are not as they are now. You were not on this ship, the Captain  
wasn't married, I wasn't the XO. This mission also worries me, due to a 
previous  experience with time travel and wormholes. I really don't want to go 
through the  side effects again. I know none of this makes any sense. I'm 
confusing 
you as  much as I am confusing myself. I don't know if I am driving myself 
nuts or if I  already am?"
 
Skyler couldn't sit still, she got up and started to pace again. Something  
wasn't right and she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't want to go  
through the same thing she did when going into the future.
 
Patience watched the commander's agitation grow.  She knew there was  no way 
the woman was going to calm down on her own.  Moving to the locked  cabinet in 
her office, nicely concealed by a bamboo medicine chest, Pacey  removed a 
very mild sedative and inserted it into a hypospray.  "Skyler, I  want you to 
set 
back down and I'm going to give you a little something to settle  your 
nerves.  It's not going to make you sleepy, it's just going to relax  you a 
bit.  
Like a warm bath or a massage."
 
Skyler sat down even though she felt like she was going to jump out of her  
skin. "At this point I will take anything Counselor." She felt the hypo being  
pressed against her neck and within a few moment's started to feel a calming  
sensation over come her. She leaned back and closed her eyes hoping her body  
would relax, so her mind would relax.
 
"Good, now take a few deep breaths for me," she said gently.  Pacey  wasn't 
the sort to just hand out drugs left and right, but she felt this was  
necessary.  It was certainly going to take a long road for the Commander to  
heal and 
it couldn't even start if she was too much in a tizzy to get the words  out.  

Pacey waited for Skyler to do as she instructed, watching her  body visibly 
relax.  "You're doing great, Skyler.  Now, we're going to  make a list of all 
your worries and we're going to prioritize them, okay?   We're going to put 
them all into perspective.  So, how about you start  slowly, and without 
letting 
them upset you, begin listing them.  You should  feel a slight sense of 
detachment with this drug and it should help with  this.  If you get 
overwhelmed and 
need to stop, that's fine too.  I'm  right here with you and we're going to 
triumph over these thoughts and fears  together."
 
"Make a list. Should be easy enough, shouldn't it? I don't understand how  
one minute the Captain isn't married and the next he is. How can Melanie and I  
have the same dream? Feeling all alone now that she is having a baby and has  
Eli. Angry that she called our mother, her birth mother by her given name. 
Mind  wipes and time travel. Can't face it again. Afraid of losing myself again 
to the  black void, especially if I hurt someone or hurt myself too much."
 
Skyler's toe was starting to tap nervously again, almost as if she  was 
fighting the medication. "I don't know what to do, what the hell do I  do?"
 
"Alright Skyler, let's put this into two categories, work and family, since  
that seems to be where the troubles lie.  Now, which one do you feel weighs  
the heaviest?"
 
"It's hard to tell the difference anymore. Both are about the same, but I  
refuse to have another mind wipe. Never again."
 
"No one is even suggesting such a thing.  Put that out of your head,  
Skyler." Patience was still speaking low and even, hoping to calm and soothe  
with 
her voice.  "Let's focus on work.  You say there was a past  mission involving 
wormholes, is that right?  Would you like to talk about  that one?  Just focus 
on what happened?"
 
Patience listened attentively as Skyler explained about the Avalon being  
hurled into the future and its near brush with death, as well as her friend 
they  
brought back with them and the memory erasing procedure that hadn't quite  
worked.  Nodding and encouraging, she waited until the commander had  finished 
the story from A to Z.  
 
"How does it feel," she asked, "to finally be able to voice all  that?"
 
"It feels...I don't know strange. You make it sound so easy and simple.  When 
I think of it I get terrified of it happening all over again." Skyler  didn't 
know what to say anymore.
 
"It only has to be hard when we let our fears get the best of us, my  friend. 
 What we're going to do is work with focusing on the here and  now.  The 
future is going to take care of itself.  We're going to  learn how to take care 
of 
you."

And with that, Patience spent  the next several hours talking Skyler through 
her fears and offering her a  little bit of perspective so that she would 
learn to cope with the overwhelming  feelings.
 
"You're doing well, Skyler, I'm very proud that you're recognizing and  
prioritizing these fears.  How are you feeling?  Do you think perhaps  you 
could 
find sleep now?  I'm scheduled to see you the day after tomorrow  and I'd 
really 
like to see what sort of progress you make on your own."
 
Skyler wasn't sure if she could do what Patience was asking of her, but the  
least she could do was try. "I will try, I can't promise that anything will  
change. Thanks for putting up with me, when you would rather be home."
 
That said, Skyler stood and a little less nervously left the counselor's  
office to return to her quarter's and contemplate what had  transpired.

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