atw: Wednesday humour
- From: Bill Parker <bill@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: austechwriter@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2012 09:46:07 +0800
Here's a few of Tommy Cooper's best:
> Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the
> hash key...'
> My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
> I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.
> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it
> sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
> Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
> hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
> Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
> Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
> 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
> 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
> 'Is it common?'
> 'It's not unusual.'
> Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one
> says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'
> 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a
> little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
>
> A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
> The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'
>
Bill
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