Ah Warren, your story had everything, romance, melancholy, conflict, a wisp of sadness, a modicum of humour, alcohol, chique-ken and legless Irishmen. A fitting end to the week. Michelle -----Original Message----- From: austechwriter-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:austechwriter-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of warren.lewington@xxxxxxxxx Sent: Friday, 14 October 2005 2:46 PM To: austechwriter@xxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: atw: Re: [OT] Writing for multiple Englishes: was writing for Aus audience Hear Hear Michelle. September 2000. Ireland, Galway. No rain. I had had a very bad (clear) day, having a gear cluster on my pushbike progressively deteriorate (blessed thing held together to get me in to town though), my booking at the hostel cancelled (bless them too, for I met Louis at the next one), fought for a sliver of road in to town with manic 4w drivers, trucks, crazy coaches, and worst of all, said farewell to Tania (fool of a took I was to do that too). I was totally rattled. Louis said upon my request about 'pubs and food and lots of alcohol to drown my sorrows' to go and see the barman in the pub 'over there'. Upon duly arriving I was presented with a delectable choice (for Ireland) of suitable victuals; orange juice and cider (the kind of cider that blows your head off). It was a locals pub. down to the same hospitable, friendly, generous blokes who had been sitting in the same places for forty years. Some probably constantly... Anyway. One group were celebrating in the remains of a wake for their father or uncle. One came over, introduced himself and said "Welcome stranger" whereupon I said how so far I was disappointed with Galway. He then spent fifteen minutes spilling the spots to hear music, where to see Galway, "the real Galway" and, being sensitive to me needing some peace left me be. It was lovely, warm and comforting, that strangers (yet again), were watching at arms length to ensure you were okay, not watching at arms length to see if you might be a threat. I was updating my diary, and in come four women. Loud, Brusque, Drunk, australian. One of them began to impose on a few of the locals, who progressively began to melt into the walls. The barman, having served them drinks, left for the other side of the bar section (read 'ran for the bloody hills'). Then there were the comments "God What a Dive..." and finally, when my first course arrived, "OHHHH WHATS THAT; IT LOOKS GREAT." The barman, who took my order, mentioning at the time how he had enjoyed visiting Australia, and his mate, were now cringing on the other side of the bar looking through the window... And heard me start speaking in a French accent. They cracked up. It was getting harder to keep a straight face, but I was not identifying myself as an Australian to this pub crawling alcoholic B # $ % ? ! g. Now my French extends to schoolboy courtesy phrases, and bad language. It improved dramatically in the next five minutes. The longest five minutes of my travelling life. "Where are you from?" "France." "What City?" "Paris" in an Aussie accented French accent. "Where's that?" "In France." Blessed silence. "Is it big?" "Qui." In an Australian accent. "Whats That?" Pointing into my first course. "Oh Poll-tree; uhh; you say uhh Chique-ken?" Handing 'thing' a menu. It proceeded to appear to read the menu, and I turned my head to notice the rear of the menu was upside down. When I had read the rear of the menu it had been the right side up in relation to the other side of the menu. Barmen were now sniggering loudly. "Ahr U wry-tin a dye-ree?" "Qui." In as French an accent as I could muster. This ... "Thing" - totally convinced I was from France (!) (barman and his mate falling on floor legless while the wake boys are totally engrossed in this) then launches into a diatribe about how she was from Maitland and her aunt was paying for the trip to get her out of town cause she is a trouble maker; and then how she reckoned all the pubs they had visited 'over here' are shit and couldn't get why people were so unfriendly. I thought about suggesting that they don't like the French much either in an Australian accent but stayed quiet. Instead, I nodded vague understanding and took a mouth-full, graphically showing her the finer points of Gallic mastication and salivation of poultry during the crushing of cell walls. She wasn't the slightest bit perturbed, offended or put off. Eventually, after four and a half minutes, having downed their pints (further flabbergasting the locals); her 'relatives', not much better than a couple of miscreant cross salty crocs/chicken coop attacking goannas themselves, said, "C'mon there's another pub over there that looks better." She is probably still complaining to her rellies about that night in the Irish pub how she was cracking on to a Frenchman when they decided to leave. Although I hope not. Poor Frenchmen. I was bought a lot of Guinness that night. The locals reckoned that was the best thing they had seen in there for years. The best part; realising you can learn a foreign accent really fast if you have to. I fell in love with Galway, filled with the spirit of music, hardness and melancholy happiness of the Irish west. I very nearly never left. I still think my biggest mistake was saying goodbye to Tania. The kiwi nurse... But that's another story. Like Jill singing to SME's... Warren Lewington Technical Writer Metso Minerals Arndell Park, Sydney. NSW, Australia. ***************************************************************************** This email, and any files transmitted with it, are confidential and intended for use by the addressee only. The confidential nature of the information contained in the email and/or file attachment is not waived, lost or destroyed if it is sent to other than the addressee. Use or dissemination of the information contained in the email and/or file attachment, by a recipient other than the addressee, may cause commercial damage to both/either the sender and/or addressee. If you are not the addressee of this email/file attachment contact the sender immediately and delete this email/file attachment. All email communications to and from this company are filtered and stored for risk management purposes in accordance with our Computer and Email Policies. 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