atw: OT: Men / women.

Alright, since it's Friday, I'm going to help everyone (mainly the men
:))exit the week on a happier note so here's something a friend sent to me
that gave me a chuckle and made me mumble to myself ... if only.

Enjoy.

Bruce Ashley


Men! Women? I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into
a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"  Realizing that nothing was
going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
jewellery dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."  She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.  Smiling with
excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go
to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped with a baffled WHAT??!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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