[austechwriter] Re: OT: Metaphors Found in 2002's NSW Year 12 English essays

This list is the funniest thing I've read for a long time!

I wish I could write like this!

Chris

At 11:17 AM 7/1/03, you wrote:
>Hmmm.... Future TWs?
>
> > Metaphors Found in 2002's NSW Year 12 English essays
> > >
> > >Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
> > compressed by a Thigh Master.
> >
> > >He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
> > who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
> > boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
>high
> > schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of
> > those boxes with a pinhole in it.
> >
> > She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> > room-temperature prime English beef.
> >
> > She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
> > before it throws up.
>
> > Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
> >
> > He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
> >
> > The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
> > his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
> > surcharge-free ATM.
> >
> > The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
> > ball wouldn't.
> >
> > McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with
> > vegetable soup.
> >
> > From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
> > surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in
> > the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
> >
> > Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
> >
> > The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
> > them in hot oil.
> >
> > John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
> > never met.
> >
> > Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
>that
> > had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
> >
> > The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
> > plan just might work.
> >
> > The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
>a
> > while.
> >
> > "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student
> > on $1-a-beer night.
> >
> > He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
> > real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
> > something.
> >
> > The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
>behind
> > her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
> >
> > He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
>she
> > were a garbage truck backing up.
> >
> > She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword
> >
> > She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
> >
> > It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the
> > wall.
>
>
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