[ak93-feua] same old important lessons

New Economy...same old important lessons
FOUR LESSONS

I. A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on   their way to 
meeting. On Their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is 
granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish.
I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in 
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he 
was also gone.

The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch 
at 12.35pm"

Moral of the story is: "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

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II.
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," 
said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my 
secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the 
paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the 
shredder machine. "...but I just need one copy."

Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

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III.
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the 
American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"

The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now 
irritated, then yelled,"What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, 
Japanese, Vietnamese!,etc......???"

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key' 
was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

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IV.
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who 
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. 
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,

He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. 
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of 
water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". 
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy 
swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" And immersed 
himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with 
his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when Suddenly he 
steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, 
SH*T!!!!!!!........."

Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents 
do happen!

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