[access-uk] Re: off topic very very funny jokes

LIGHTEN UP ELEANOR ITS NICE TO HAVE A LAUGH NOW AND AGAIN 

love angela mctigue alex stone's fiancee

--- On Sun, 2/5/10, Eleanor Burke <eleanorburke@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

From: Eleanor Burke <eleanorburke@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [access-uk] Re: off topic very very funny jokes
To: access-uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Sunday, 2 May, 2010, 20:33


Is this the correct list for funny jokes or is it the Access Technology list?
-original message-
Subject: [access-uk] off topic very very funny jokes
From: william lomas <lomaswilliam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: 02/05/2010 5:23 pm

HI all, I know if I way off-base and topic but these jokes are hillarious!!

 
You really have to watch what you write...extracts from letters written to 
local councils: 

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob 
off. 
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put 
his foot in the hole in his back passage. 
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I 
think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off. 
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and 
fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just 
plain filthy. 
11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. 
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and 
not fit to drink. 
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces. 
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am 
his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me. 
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is 
unsightly and dangerous. 
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so 
please send someone round to do something about it. 
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do 
something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my 
wife. 
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have 
no satisfaction. 
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get 
BBC2. 
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus 
growing in it. 
23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take 
it any more.
 
 
 
 
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