FreeLists / va-bird / [va-bird] Re: What happens when I drink too much coffee......

["Glenn Miller" <millergt3389@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

On this listserver we don't permit innocent questions from beginning birders 
looking for owls, but do we allow lyrics to songs that are simply meant to 
amuse us and have nothing to do with birds?  What was the point of this?  We 
were warned about your sense of humor you say.  Does that mean we're going 
to be subject to it whenever you're inspired?

Glenn Miller
Williamsburg, VA


>From: Richard Roberts <catharus_thrush@xxxxxxxxx>
>Reply-To: catharus_thrush@xxxxxxxxx
>To: va-bird@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>Subject: [va-bird] What happens when I drink too much coffee......
>Date: Wed, 11 Jun 2003 12:52:38 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Hi ya'll:
>
>O.k.  I warned you about my sense of humor....  Well, I originally posted 
>this to the Birdband list-serve last year, where it was met with rave 
>reviews, and I thought ya'll might enjoy it.  Essentially, I just re-wrote 
>the lyrics to suit my needs....so enjoy (or curse me, either way.....).  I 
>hope that you noticed that I corrected my spelling of ya'll.  I was 
>informed that there was only one "a" in it.  That's a cheesehead for ya, I 
>guess....
>
>I Am the Very Model of a Master-Bander, Personal
>
>© 2002, Richard L. Smallwood-Roberts, Master-Bander (Personal)
>
>Sung to the tune of ?I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General? from 
>the musical, HMS Pinafore.
>
>
>
>I am the very model of a Master-Bander, Personal
>
>I capture migrant passerines, with which I?m very versatile
>
>I know their very Latin names though short or long or whimsical
>
>From Actitis to Zenaida in genus categorical
>
>
>
>I?m very well acquainted too with matters mathematical
>
>I measure bills from lores to tip with zeal that seems fanatical
>
>Or primaries or retrices of which I cannot often choose
>
>But cheerfully I measure them and then I measure tarsus too
>
>
>
>I?m very good at using traps and also of erecting nets
>
>I?m faster than all others (but on that I am not taking bets)
>
>When capturing the adult birds and even with the juveniles
>
>I am the very model of a Master-Bander, Personal
>
>
>
>I know avian history from the dinosaurs to Sparrow, Fox
>
>From lizards to our feathered friends, I find it quite a paradox
>
>To think a Black-Capped Chickadee descends from Archaeopteryx
>
>Bewilders me and leaves me with a painful headache in the mix
>
>
>
>I can tell the sex of birds whether in hand or in the trees
>
>Of course, I know there?s some quite hard so I should say ?well usually?
>
>In fact, I?ll say that for some species it can be a dulling chore
>
>But in all cases, circumspect, I?d rather do that than be bored
>
>
>
>Then I take the data and I put it all in written form
>
>Recording details, some minute, from age and sex to the wing chord
>
>In short no matter what it is from adult birds to juveniles
>
>I am the very model of a Master-Bander, Personal
>
>
>
>In fact I know just what is meant by ?nape? and ?supercilium?
>
>And I can tell apart Flycatchers, Alder and Acadian
>
>When dealing with such species the I.D. I am more wary at
>
>But I can say precisely I can age a Yellow-breasted Chat
>
>When I have learned near everything in modern Ornithology
>
>When I know more of plumage than a novice at the IBP*
>
>In short when I?m an expert with a Veery?s wing morphology
>
>You?ll say a better Master-Bander, Personal you?ll never see
>
>
>
>For all my avian knowledge, though I?m hyper drinking black coffee
>
>Has been expounded on for three decades in the last century
>
>But still in matters of I.D. of adult birds and juveniles
>
>I am the very model of a Master-Bander, Personal
>
>
>*Institute for Bird Populations
>
>
>
>Richard L. Smallwood-Roberts, Janesville, WI: M-Bander, Wilson Creek MAPS 
>Station, SBBO Staff: www.wilsoncreekmaps.com
>
>"It seemed to me that, somehow, the Blue Jay was trying to communicate with 
>me. I would see him fly into the house across the street, pick up the 
>telephone, and dial. My phone would ring, and it would be him, but it was 
>just this squawking and cheeping. "What?! What?!" I would yell back, but he 
>never did speak English."
>
>
>
>
>
>
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